Surviving Barstool | New Episodes Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday 8PM ETTUNE IN

Elizabeth Hurley is the Undisputed Champion of Bikini Season Before it's Even Begun

What a week it has been. Starting with this video by the incomparable Elizabeth Hurley. And, now that she has your attention, some other posts we will get to shortly. But first a word or two about what true greatness is all about.

We can all respect the newcomers who enter the arena and try to take throne away from The Queen. Your Livvy Dunnes. Your Gracie Hunts. The occasional unknown who comes out of nowhere and into the national consciousness.

All of them are to be applauded for their talent, drive, and ambition. 

But that's not enough. It's the oldest, tiredest cliche in the world, but by no means untrue, to say that in order to be the best, you've got to beat the best. That which stands in your way becomes your path, and all that. It's not about one viral moment. It's not about shining brightly for a while and quickly burning out. Nor it is about being just OK for a long period of time, like some borderline All-Star who sticks around long enough to rack up accumulated stats and gets into the Hall of Fame, even though they never sold a ticket. True greatness comes from doing both. Displaying unmistakable, white hot magnificence, sustained over a long career. And that, my friends, defined Elizabeth Hurley. 

This is how high she has been setting the bar these past few days. Two months before her 58th birthday:

For most in the northern part of these United States, the bathing suits haven't even come out of the back of the closet yet. Millions are looking down at the bathroom scale and doing the math about how many trips to the gym, how many skipped meals, and how many counterfeit Ozempics it's going to take to not look like they spent all winter with their faces burrowed into a bag of pork rinds. Meanwhile, Elizabeth just keeps on being Elizabeth. Aging not like a fine wine, but like a precious artifact that just gets more valuable as time goes on. She's already won the Championship of Beachwear Weather when most of her competition hasn't even had a single practice. 

I repeat, no disrespect to the aforementioned young women. Or any of the others who take up real estate in every sports/lifestyle page I visit on a daily basis. But these college chicks and 20-something pretenders to Hurley's throne can only dream of a future 30-40 years from now, pulling off what she does with the greatest of ease well into her sixth decade on our planet. Behold what true greatness is, and despair. 

Bend the knee to your Queen. And if possible, have a great weekend: