I Hereby Challenge Rone And Pat Beverly To A Rap Battle

Over the last 2-3 weeks, Pat Beverly has been swinging through Chicago HQ to record his podcast with Rone. No idea why, but Rone has been trying to goad Pat Bev into calling us fat: 

Without having met us yet, Pat played it off as well as he could and he did so by calling us "husky" instead of straight up "fat". We're not confrontational guys in the Chicago office, myself specifically and especially, but we couldn't let this one slide, so we got nose to nose with him:

Fast forward a few weeks and Rone is in Chicago and the two are yucking it up about the girth of the Chicago office yet again. Yet again!! 

Not sure where Rone and Pat Bev get off, but there's one person on the ENTIRE Barstool payroll that throws 91MPH, ran a marathon and can kick 35+ yard field goals. That ain't the NBA guy. That's this guy: 

Athleticism personified. Idk of too many "fat" athletes that can perform all of the aforementioned feats in their sleep like I can. 

Now I don't really know Rone too well and have only met Pat Bev once. That should have been twice, but I was forced to move my Nissan Altima out of one of the two parking spots we have so that he could park his Rolls Royce in it. Instead of going back inside to introduce myself and face the humiliation of being a Nissan Altima guy, I just went home instead.

ANYWAYS, and to bring everything full circle, one thing I do know about Rone is that he likes to battle rap. Apparently he's pretty good at it too. That shouldn't shock anybody, as he's a smart cat…but like my apparently shocking ability to fluently speak Spanish (and Italian, and French, and Portuguese, and other Latin-based, Romantic languages), I also battle bap a little on the side myself: 

Sniff sniff… you smell that? Rone just shit his pants. 

So I hereby challenge Rone to a battle rap. If you want to catch a glimpse of me and Donnie tearing apart local battle rappers in the Dominican Republic, check out our latest installment of "Donnie & Dave Do The Dominican Republic". In this week's episode, we took an excursion to the seedy "resort" town of Boca Chica and mixed it up with all sorts of interesting characters.

And you can catch the rest of the series below:

Just kidding. He'd crucify me like the gypsy boxer kid in Peaky Blinders. There would be a rain of rhymes from the air, the like of which has never been seen on this earth if I did this