Gisele Says Brady Playing Football Wasn't to Blame for the Divorce, and the Divorce Wasn't to Blame for the Way Brady Played Football

Kevin C. Cox. Getty Images.

Throughout history, simple victory was never enough for the truly great conquerors. The ones whose names have lived down through the ages weren't satisfied with merely defeating your army and taking over you land. They slaughtered all the men, enslaved the women, impaled the babies on pikes, stole the animals, burned the villages and salted the fields so that nothing would grow there again for centuries. That was how they measured their Ws. 

And so it is with the most feared conqueror of our times: Gisele Bundchen. She is not going after victory in her post-divorce life. She is going scorched earth on everyone in her path.

nd no bending of the knee, no gifts of earth and water to demonstrate capitulation, will satisfy her bloodlust until all the world is under her rule. 

Last week it was dating a billionaire who had hung out with Tom Brady at some public events:

This week it's an interview in which she attempts to set the record straight on how she ended up living this new, best version of herself:

Source - Speaking to Vanity Fair for an interview to accompany a stunning cover shoot for the magazine's April issue, Gisele, 42, described the speculation surrounding her split from Tom, 45, as 'very hurtful', while insisting that she has only ever 'wanted all his dreams to come true'. 

'Listen, I have always cheered for him, and I would continue forever,' she said. …

While vehemently denying that her divorce had anything to do with Tom's decision to U-turn on his retirement from the NFL, Gisele - who added that the split has been 'like a death and a rebirth' - said that the reason behind their split after 13 years of marriage was much more innocent, claiming that the pair simply 'grew apart' and realized that they wanted 'different things'.   

'Sometimes you grow together; sometimes you grow apart,' she said. 'When I was 26 years old and he was 29 years old, we met, we wanted a family, we wanted things together. 

'As time goes by, we realize that we just wanted different things, and now we have a choice to make. That doesn’t mean you don’t love the person. It just means that in order for you to be authentic and truly live the life that you want to live, you have to have somebody who can meet you in the middle, right? It’s a dance. It’s a balance.'

'Sometimes you grow together; sometimes you grow apart,' she said. 'When I was 26 years old and he was 29 years old, we met, we wanted a family, we wanted things together. 

'As time goes by, we realize that we just wanted different things. …'

The supermodel - whose fashion career has seen a massive resurgence since her split from Tom - also furiously shut down any suggestion that she is 'against football', saying that she 'loved' watching her former husband on the field.

She even spoke out to defend his lackluster final season with the Buccaneers, seemingly placing blame for their losses on Tom's teammates, saying: 'It's a team sport and you can't play alone. I think he did great under the circumstances. I mean, he had no offensive line.' 

The supermodel - whose fashion career has seen a massive resurgence since her split from Tom - also furiously shut down any suggestion that she is 'against football', saying that she 'loved' watching her former husband on the field.

She even spoke out to defend his lackluster final season with the Buccaneers, seemingly placing blame for their losses on Tom's teammates, saying: 'It's a team sport and you can't play alone. I think he did great under the circumstances. I mean, he had no offensive line.' …

Still, while Gisele's own career was put on the backburner while her husband claimed several Super Bowl titles, she insists that she felt no bitterness over her role as a wife and mother - saying that she actually relished the opportunity to focus on her kids full-time. 

'Do you know how grateful I am that I got that time for myself?' she told the publication. 'I breastfed my kids until they were almost two years old. I was taking them to school every day. I was making them breakfast, lunch… I was there.'

OK, there's a lot to unpack there. And we could start anywhere, but let's begin with her blaming Brady's offensive line for the fact he had one of the worst seasons of his incomparable career. Tied for the second fewest touchdowns he's had since 2002. His second lowest passer rating in a decade. More than 36 yards per game less than the had just the year before, despite record numbers of attempts and completions. I don't mean to disparage Gisele's football expertise, but according to Pro Football Focus at least, the Bucs were the 4th best pass blocking offense last year and her ex-husband was pressured only 16th most in the league. But his passer rating when pressured was only 18th, at a pathetic 41.6.

But I don't want to belabor that point. She's entitled to see it however she wants. And believe me, she's not the first divorcee to blame her former husband's friends for the things that have gone wrong in his life. As a matter of fact, the next ex-wife who doesn't blame the people her man hangs out with for everything will undoubtedly be the first. Believe me, I've been given that stinkeye by my buddy's exes for the crime of just being around, minding my own business. I feel your pain, Shaq Mason and Tristan Wirfs.

It's the rest of it I have a problem with. Gisele is asking a lot if she expects us to believe there was no cause-and-effect to any of this. First, that Brady's unretirement announcement had nothing to do with the marriage breaking up, and the marriage breaking up had nothing to do with his slightly-above-average 2022 season. I might not be an expert when it comes to football analytics, but I am when it comes to their marriage, since I've done 13 years of clinical research into the subject. 

The timing of all of it speaks for itself. Brian Flores announces he's suing the Dolphins and the rest of the league because Miami ownership wanted him to meet with a quarterback under contract to another team. The very next day, Brady retires. Weeks go by, and he announces he's coming back to football. Within days, the reports begin about their marital strife. Connect those dots and it's obvious she not only thought he was going to be a full time dad, she knew nothing about his plans to move to Miami. Cause. Effect.

Then comes Bucs training camp, when he decides he needs a week and a half off. The season begins and he starts getting Wednesday off, attends Mr. Kraft's wedding in New York and flies on his own to a road game in Pittsburgh. Which the Bucs promptly lose and kick off a three-game losing streak. These are the things happily married Brady wouldn't have dreamt of doing when there's work to be done. Cause. Effect.

But for Gisele right now, it's not about truth or fairness. It's about total victory, in divorce and in life. She's up by five touchdowns and chucking the ball deep, and we're still in the 1st half. This may have been her first in depth interview since leaving the divorce courthouse. But by no means will it be the last. And she is no interested in taking responsibility for last season. My sympathies to the 2022 Buccaneers for what's to come.