Joe Mazzulla Might Just Be The Perfect Level Of Psycho After Revealing He Sleeps With His Mouth Taped Shut

Jared C. Tilton. Getty Images.

Let's be very clear about something when it comes to Joe Mazzulla. Put aside Mazzulla Ball. Don't worry about timeouts or rotations or anything like that for a second.

I think we need to appreciate what a goddamn psycho this man is, and I say that as a good thing. Yeah I get it, the Celts are in a slump right now so it's easy to pile on Mazzulla and the players for playing like complete dickheads. That's fine. But I also suggest taking a step back and not taking things too seriously all the time and just enjoy how insane this man is.

Whether it's battling opposing players for the basketball in the middle of an actual game

or how hard he goes in pregame scrimmages with assistant coaches

or how he dove deep into the numbers and figured out it was time to stop chewing gum on the sidelines

If you don't find this shit funny, I'm afraid you have a gigantic dump in your pants. Fortunately for us, we have another Psycho Joe habit to add to the list, this time involving his sleep

This is incredible. I have to plead ignorance here, is this a thing? I've certainly never heard of this sleep method before, but I think I have to try it now? I mean, the results sort of speak for themselves do they not? I've never been one to breathe through my mouth when sleeping unless I'm sick and can't breathe through my nose, but maybe it's happening once I'm in a REM cycle and I don't even know it. I'm not wondering how much more optimized my life can get if I adopt Joe's method, as crazy as it sounds.

My initial thought is there's no way I would be able to fall asleep. I'd be way too focused on the fact that my mouth is taped that it would probably keep me up way past my bedtime and I'd most likely lose out on any potential benefits anyway. 

I don't know about anyone else, but there are few things worse in my mind than trying to fall asleep, not being able to fall asleep, and then you get mad that you aren't sleeping which only makes it harder to go to sleep. For example, yesterday my dogs woke everyone up at like 2:45 am because one was upset the other dog was on the bed and he wasn't. I couldn't fall back asleep for the life of me and the next thing I knew it was like 4:45 and I was still awake, just laying there fuming that I wasn't asleep yet. Little did I know I should have just taped my mouth shut at that moment. That's on me. 

Considering this is my daily life when it comes to sleep

I feel like I need to give Joe's method a whirl. 

Listen, whatever has to happen for this team to snap out of their collective funk, I think we all need to get on board. I want every player to tape their mouths shut when they go to bed from here on out. I think we as fans should do the same. We're in the stretch run right now, and everything has to be on the table. For all we know the Celts are blowing these leads late because they're tired as a result of poor sleep. How do you solve that? Boom, scotch tape right to the kisser.