All Of You Hating On This Little 11-Year-Old Kid Bragging About Retiring, And Her $270,000 Mercedes (That She Can't Even Drive Yet), Can Go To Hell

News.com.au - Roxy Jacenko’s daughter Pixie Curtis has announced she’s “semi-retiring” in preparation to start high school.

The 11-year-old, who has amassed a multi-million dollar empire selling bows and launching her fidget spinner business during the pandemic, will step back from work and instead focus on more mundane things like homework.

“Pixie has decided to hang her online toy store shoes up to focus on her impending entry into high school,” Pixie’s mum, manager and Sydney PR mogul told news.com.au.

The 11-year-old’s fidget business earnt $200,000 in its first month, and Jacenko has previously confirmed that Pixie’s success meant she could retire at 15 years old as a millionaire.

She is also the proud owner of a $270,000 Mercedes Benz Gl – even though she’s years off being able to drive it.

Jacenko explained that the decision wasn’t made lightly and it was made together as a family. “In short, over the past few months, we have been discussing the business plans going forward as a family and decided that while it has been an amazing journey starting some three years ago, it was time to refocus with high school just around the corner.

Allow me to vent a little bit here.

And pose a question to all you parents out there.

What the hell have your kids done for you lately?

Can you even get them to take the trash out? Never mind launch a 7 figure a year business? Doubtful.

Did you know way back in the day families who owned farms on lots of land had kids specifically to help with the labor? There was the whole child mortality rate thing to factor in too, but the point that I'm getting at was having kids was a business decision. Like instead of putting a listing out on Indeed, you just knock your wife up for the 11th time. 

Somewhere over time, the lines got crossed, and we as a civilization stopped looking at children as part of the family workforce, earners, and in Pixie's case- breadwinners.

You might be disgusted by how her parents have "taken advantage" of their daughter. But I hate to break it to you, that's just jealousy and envy.

Circle of trust discussion here for a minute. I'm not a spiteful person. I used to be, I used to be quite spiteful. But I eventually realized it made me a real miserable prick you could say. And focussing time, energy, and attention on being pissed off, especially at people or situations I couldn't control (shout out stoicism), really did me no good. In fact, it did me real bad. Letting go of that shit made things infinitely less stressful, relieved a ton of anxiety, and just made for a much happier life overall. And that whole Karma thing. 

And in this case, fuck all of that.

Pixie's mom is the shit.

First off, she allowed her 11-year-old daughter to start social media accounts which in turn began to flourish, and enable her to make racks on racks on racks. All the future years of therapy aside, that's called setting your kid up for success.

Secondly, her mom whips her around in a Panamera Turbo GTS. What do you drive?

Third, her friend's mom is kind of a milf. Just wanted to point that out because it felt important to mention.

Fourth, this is her own mom. The picture pretty much says it all. Suck it haters.

(For those with no taste, I'll have you know that's a crocodile skin Birkin bag. $90,000 dollar pocketbook she's showing off. No big deal.)

Fifth, like all true entrepreneurs and 1%ers, she doesn't care about the climate or the Earth. Flying private in 2023 tacky? Fuck you, peasant. 

Sixth, she had her 11th birthday party in a nightclub, popping bottles, and ripping lines of pixy-stix with her friends. And they had flair, fire-breathing bartenders. What'd your kid do for their 11th birthday? Chuck-e-Cheese?

Lastly, what was your first car? What will your kids first car be? I pushed a fuckin Chevy Celebrity. A Plymouth Neon when I was lucky. Pixie has a fucking Mercedes SLS AMG waiting for her. 

It's got gullwing doors bitch.

So rather than sit there reading this on your commute to work, to schlep it up for the man, and hate on this girl and her whip-cracking mom, allow this story to inspire you. 

Start making your kids pull their own weight. Have they seen this economy? Have they heard of inflation? Put their ass to work. 

In all seriousness though, good for this girl. And good for her doing something great to help others.

To celebrate the end of such a successful business era, Jacenko and Pixie’s business will be helping others.

Jacenko added that Sydney-based Main Facilities, a NSW government contractor, last week spent $30,000 on stock which will be sent to children’s charities, Bear Cottage, Ronald McDonald House, Little Wings and Vinnies from today.

Now Pixie can focus on conquering high school.