Last Week I Felt Poor

Happy President's Day! My favorite February holiday besides the Super Bowl. We have the day off officially today. Penn Entertainment is corporate. We got an email from HR telling us President's Day off (not my Barstool). There was a lot of talk about money in our little corner of the internet on Friday. I am not sure about this entirely to be honest, but I think Friday was the day that Dan, KFC, and the other founders of Barstool became millionaires officially. They're not the reason I feel poor. I actually feel gratitude for them because without them being SO successful I wouldn't be able to write blogs on this website and enjoy some success. And I have felt somewhat successful in the last year after buying a condo and doing other adult shit. Felt good. The founders of Barstool didn't make me feel poor. Eddie did. 

Eddie had the idea to send Jeff Nadu and WSD into designer stores to pick out gifts for theoretical women. I accompanied WSD to the Magnificent Mile. First stop was Gucci. That is when I felt poor. I walked into the store and even though the staff was incredibly kind and helpful, I still felt out of place. Largely because the other patrons in the store. They could tell by the look of me that I didn't belong. I caught several glances of disgust. Thanks to my health crisis, I have become somewhat acustomed to people looking at me with disgust, but that was about my physical appearance. Not my bank account. 

Walking through that store with free money allocated from the company to promote the content and Barstool River North (sidenote: the food is now VERY good) and I still felt poor. Basically EVERYTHING was north of $500. You want a spritz of cologne? That'll be your left arm. You want to try on sunglasses? That'll cost you your eyes. We walked out of there with a ribbon sized "scarf" that cost about what I pay in cable. I might as well have been walking around the Chicago Art Institute because everything in there was behind glass and out of my price range. 

I need to know who shops there with any regularity and what they do. I've never really cared about designer anything. Nothing really brings me joy. I know I'd feel just as empty inside even if I walked out of that store like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. I just want the option to do it. I want to have that moment like Julia Roberts where they look at me with gross facial hair and sweatshirts with oil stains on my chest from where I spilled chili on myself and then drop my credit card and say "oh you thought I was poor? Big mistake, huge!". I need to be a millionaire internet blogger. So please...subscribe to our youtube channel and watch the Mid Show. Live again tomorrow at 3pm EST/ 2pm CST/ 1pm Mountain/ 12pm PST. Thank you