There Might Not Be a More Challenging And Fascinating Job On Earth Right Now Than Being The Marriage Counselor Megan Fox And Machine Gun Kelly Are Currently Seeing To Try And Save Their Relationship

Astrid Stawiarz. Getty Images.

The world currently swings between three giant headlines in the news: The UFO's/Spy balloons, the Ohio Rail Car disaster, and the impending breakup between Machine Gun Kelly and Megan Fox. All three could change the course of history as we know it. Let's have a discussion about one of them.

MGK's guitarist Sophie Lloyd currently finds herself at the center of cheating allegations with the rocker. 

Her management has adamantly denied any wrongdoing. Not sure Megan Fox sees it that way or cares at all what she says. 

Keegs blogged the initial news over the weekend, our number one most clicked on blog on Super Bowl Sunday by the way. The latest update is that Fox completely wiped her Instagram and has been seen very upset while leaving marriage counseling with her fiancé. 

All I can think about is what a wild experience this has to be for the marriage counselor. If anyone thought MGK and Megan Fox were actually gonna end up together without any problems you're just oblivious. This was a ticking time bomb. 

You know the counselor had them go over the very start of their relationship all the way to this point right now. How you could do any of that with a straight face is beyond me. Let's try it out for a minute or two. 

There's of course the "I am weed" quote during their first ever encounter

There was the climbing of a 3 story building on their first date as well as some shark diving. 

(source) "This is our first date, and that's her climbing down off of a dangerous three-story balcony in heels," the 31-year-old said when shown pictures of him helping her down. "I saw this roof, and I was like, 'I used to hang out there. I just want you to come and see my world for a minute.'" 

"The door was locked, so we had to scaffold around the balcony — it was very dangerous," he added. "I'm very glad she's alive." But, not content with one death-defying date, the couple then took things a step further and went swimming with sharks in Bora Bora…without a cage!

"We got in the water and I was like, 'I'm actually comfortable in the water. This is really cool,'" he explained. "She got in the water and put her goggles on, and she was like, 'Babe, there's a shark right there.' And before she finished her sentence, I was already halfway down the street. I left her in the water."

MGK once threw some knives to impress Fox and stabbed himself. 

(Consequence) Shortly after Machine Gun Kelly and Megan Fox began dating, he threw a knife into the air to impress her. As he told Jimmy Fallon on The Tonight Show, he ended up stabbing himself in the hand and required stitches.

They went to a jungle to do all sorts of drugs and Megan Fox ended up in "Eternal Hell" in her hallucinations. Gotta think the marriage counselor stops them there and dives into this one. Gotta think finding yourself in "eternal hell" via some hallucinations with your lover is a moment where we need to unravel some demons.  

(Page Six) The “Jennifer’s Body” star revealed on “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” on Monday that the couple flew to Central America to drink ayahuasca, a psychoactive tea, in “a proper setting, with indigenous people.” The experience induces auditory and visual hallucinations and is said to treat various ailments like anxiety, trauma and more.

The former “Transformers” star said the ceremony lasts three nights but on her second night she went to Hell for eternity in a hallucination. Fox, 35, said the experience surpassed talk therapy or hypnotherapy “because it just goes straight into your soul, and it takes you to the psychological prison that you hold yourself in.”

“So it’s your own version of hell, and I was definitely there,” Fox added.

Perfectly normal stuff. They also got engaged and drank each other's blood that one time. They promise this isn't a regular thing and only for rituals. 

MGK made the announcement Wednesday, with the caption, "yes, in this life and every life” beneath the same branches we fell in love under, i brought her back to ask her to marry me."

Megan too posted a video of the engagement, saying, "Somehow a year and a half later, having walked through hell together, and having laughed more than I ever imagined possible, he asked me to marry him."

But it's how she ended her post that has people confused "…and then we drank each other’s blood."

There's this tidbit where Megan Fox claims she created MGK when she was 4 years old. Gotta think the counselor just skips over that one.

(Glamour) “He’s literally my exact physical type that I’ve been manifesting. I’m also four years older than him. So, I think I made him. My thoughts and intentions grew him into the person that he is, who knows what he would’ve looked like or been like if it wasn’t for me.”

And last but not least, the part where Megan Fox told him to either kill her or get her pregnant

I don't care if this happens to be the same marriage counselor Johnny Depp and Amber Heard used, this person has never experienced anything like these two. I cannot imagine the conversation those three had. Just a bunch of going back and forth about drinking blood, sacrificing wolves to the moon, the current position of the stars, love, evil, witchcraft, vampires and who knows what else. 

If by some miracle the marriage counselor saves their relationship I'm not sure if they should be awarded the highest honor we have or condemn them to hell. I know they can't record these conversations, but we need them recorded. Throw that shit on PPV and make millions. The world could use some good entertainment during these trying times. 

Anyways, bonus clip from The Break Up to end the blog