Florida Panthers Open Investigation After Their Mascot Gets Dummied By A Lightning Fan
Miami Herald -- An altercation between a Tampa Bay Lightning fan and Florida Panthers mascot Monday was not staged, and has prompted an investigation by the Panthers, a team spokesperson said.
Neither stadium security nor local police intervene at any point, prompting natural questions about whether the the incident was staged. The Panthers, however, said it was not.
In 1969 the Philadelphia Flyers squared off against the St. Louis Blues in the playoffs. Not only were the Flyers swept in the series, but they were also physically dominated by the Blues the entire series. Literally got the shit knocked out of them. Want to know what happened immediately after that season?
The Philadelphia Flyers turned into the Broad Street Bullies. Flyers chairman Ed Snider vowed that his teams would never get manhandled like that again and picked up the mantra that if you're not going to beat them, you should at least beat them up. The Flyers went on to cave the entire league's face in for the next decade or so, and even beat the shit out of some commies on the Russian Red Army team so bad that the Soviets literally walked off the ice in the middle of the game so they could cry.
We're 50 years removed from the birth of the Broad Street Bullies, but I think it's time for them to make a comeback. Just this time, a little furrier.
That's right.
Mascots need enforcers. They can't be getting dummied by fans like this and not have any way of retaliating. These mascots probably make like $20K a year. They're not getting paid nearly enough to put up with this type of behavior. So if the fans want to get a little big for their britches and take some cheap shots on the mascot? You need a guy like Gritty to come along and beat the everliving piss out of that fan. Because I can guarantee you that he wouldn't just sit there and take it. He'd rip your nutsack off and shove it down your own throat. This Lightning fan wouldn't even look at another mascot for the rest of his life after the beatdown that Gritty would put on him.
So for all the Viktor E Rat's and Iceburgh and ThunderBug and Youppi and all the other little shit head mascots who clearly can't defend themselves out there…it's time to call up Gritty and throw him out there as your enforcer. He might end up getting arrested a few times for assault and might end up with a few lawsuits on his hands, but at least your mascots don't have to show up to make 100 bucks a night and get their ass kicked by drunk fans anymore.