On This Day Four Years Ago Dave Portnoy Was Assaulted And Dragged Out Of The Super Bowl (Dead Fish) By Roger Goodell's Goons
This video deserves to be blogged on this day every year. It also belongs in the pantheon of greatest Barstool videos of all time.
To this day it blows my fucking mind that the commissioner of the most powerful corporation in the world, a guy making $54 million dollars a year to be a patsy, is so fucking petty that he had his minions tracking Dave's whereabouts this entire weekend in Atlanta. And when he found out he'd snuck into the stadium in disguise, wouldn't let his security rest until they found him and kicked him out of the stadium. We're talking about the Super Bowl man. Get a fucking life Goodell.
A Fun Fact many don't know and I'm not sure if Dave has mentioned before but the harassment and terror campaign didn't end once Dave was outside the stadium either. No sir.
At the team post-game party at the hotel, a couple hours after the game ended, they were there looking for Dave again. I walked in a little late and he was rogue, still in disguise, and came out of the shadows and smacked me on the back. He asked if I had seen what happened to him and obviously, I had. The entire world had. People were passing around their phones inside the Mercedes Benz Stadium all during the third quarter showing the video (that I think Frankie captured?) to each other. Half of them were dying laughing, the other half wondering what on Earth he did so wrong to deserve it.
He turned around to show me that his designer, stone washed, skinny (possibly female) jeans had ripped straight across the ass crack. I asked what the fuck happened and he said "Goodell's people did that!".
I was stunned. As were the president and vice president of CBS Boston (The New England Patriots Flagship Station™) who were standing next to me listening.
Almost right on cue two security guards appeared with NFL credentials around their necks (not Patriots credentials like everybody else in the party had on) and got in Dave's face telling him he had to leave, or they would make him leave.
Things looked dire until all of a sudden, out of nowhere, Dan Kraft came to the rescue and told security to go fuck themselves. That Dave was a guest of his father's, and of the organization, and it was a Patriots event, not an NFL event, and not on NFL property. You've never seen two tough guys tuck their tails between their legs and slither away quicker in your life.
We went into the party where Gaz and Hank already were, and looked like they'd already been for well over an hour, and partied our dicks off celebrating Championship #6.
The end.