We Can Solve The US Debt Crisis By Printing More Money
Look guys, I'm a dumb person. I don't pretend to be anything else. I know what I know, and I know what I don't know. I think that's all you can do. That's why I'll never get into a political argument. Whatever side I take, an educated person on the other side will beat me in it. That holds true for most topics. Basically, unless it's an argument about a TV show I've recently watched, or candy, I'm not going to win.
But one thing I REALLY do not understand is how money works. Our country is in tremendous debt. $31 trillion dollars worth. We are on pace to run out of money to pay our bills sometime in June. I'm not sure how it happened. I can only assume most of it is Dr. Fauci's fault. Either way, we need to come up with a solution fast.
SCENE: Two guys on drugs talking about our national debt
"Our country is so fucked man. We own China like, trillions of dollars."
"So why don't we just print more money? We have money machines. Why don't we just print however much money we need and send it to them?"
"You can't just do that man. It's not that simple"
"Why can't it be?"
"Inflation dude."
"Dude money isn't real anyway. It's a social construct. Just print the money and put it in circulation. Nobody has to know."
Well, great fucking news for anybody who's ever had that conversation. A very important thread came across my desk this morning. Turns out, you're on the same page as Nobel Prize Winning Economics Professor Paul Krugman.
You mean to tell me that these "just print more money" conversations are happening places other than around a 27-year-old bachelor's coffee table at 6am? Or between those middle school kids from the meme?
A man with a NOBEL PRIZE says we should print more money?! Incredible! I've heard enough! Print the coin! What a massive W for idiots across the country who have been having that conversation for years.
PRINT THE COIN! PRINT THE COIN! PRINT THE COIN!
GIVE THE COIN TO CHINA! GIVE THE COIN TO CHINA! GIVE THE COIN TO CHINA!
I absolutely love the idea of Joe Biden sitting down with members of the Chinese Government and confidently sliding a $1 trillion coin across a big mahogany table. I always knew it could be that easy. As a dumb person, it's oddly comforting (but also very concerning) to hear that the brightest minds our country has to offer are having the same ridiculous hypothetical conversations as us.
So next time someone laughs at you for your "Why don't we just print more money" idea, you just let them know Nobel Prize Award Winning Economics Professor + New York Times Opinionist Paul Krugman says it's a smart idea. See how they like those apples.
PRINT THE COIN!
GIVE THE COIN TO CHINA!
FIX OUR PROBLEMS!