I Have The Perfect Job For Tom Brady Now That He Has A Bunch Of Time On His Hands

Nathaniel S. Butler. Getty Images.

You may not have heard, but Tom Brady re-retired today. Pretty big deal all things considered for the living legend. Our timelines are once again filled with insane Brady stats just like they were the first time this happened, and while normally this can sometimes be annoying, given how insane Brady's career was it feels like collectively everyone is on the same page with honoring the GOAT. We're seeing awesome stories and moments being shared that as a Pats fan bring me joy, and there's no doubt that this man changed mine and a whole bunch of other lives around New England these last 20+ years.

But because I have a deranged brain, as soon as I saw the news my brain immediately went to one Brady moment in particular. While everyone was talking about his career stats and his Super Bowl wins and all that shit, my brain went here

I cannot believe it's been basically 6.5 years since this photo was taken. How is that even possible? Man we're all so goddamn old. 

Back in the summer of 2016, the entire basketball world was in on the Kevin Durant sweepstakes over that 4th of July weekend. I remember I had friends from college in town and I refused to leave my house/computer while we all waited for KD's decision. While my friends were partying, I was refreshing Twitter. If you're curious about what #BlogLife is like, that summer was a great example.

It was great to see that Tom Brady was willing to whore himself out in the hopes that it would convince KD to come to Boston. He didn't have to do that, he's Tom Brady. I'm pretty sure he had a million better things to do that weekend, but instead he chose to help recruit. I'll always love Tom for trying, especially because it almost worked

"I was ready to just say, 'All right. Let’s go. I’m ready to go,' seeing Tom Brady there," Durant told the Boston Herald in 2016. "Just seeing someone so successful at his craft and just a great ambassador for the game of football and the city of Boston, it was just great to be in the presence of greatness. But, at the same time, I knew I couldn’t let that distract me. But he was great. It was great to see him.”

So now that he has all this time on his hands, I would like to formally offer Tom Brady a spot in Brad's recruitment group for the foreseeable future. Do I even have the ability/authority to do something like this? Yes, mostly because I just made up the idea that Brad has a recruiting group. I mean how else did they sign Blake Griffin???

You may also be asking why would I want this seeing as how KD turned the Celtics and Brady down, but everyone with a brain knows that was probably Kelly Olynyk's fault. Listen, Kelly, I love ya. We'll always have that GM7 vs the Wizards, but I cannot imagine why he was allowed to be on this trip if the goal was to convince KEVIN DURANT that the Celts were the roster for him. Something tells me seeing it in person and then thinking 

"Hmmm, Steph Curry and Klay Thompson or Kelly Olynyk?"

Didn't exactly help Ainge's pitch. It might not be fair to put it all on Kelly, but we all know the deal there.

Plus, this time around things should be much easier on the recruiting trail. The Celts are legit contenders in 2023 whereas in 2016 they were still in the early stages of their rebuild. I feel confident that a group of Brady/Tattum/Jaylen/Smart will be more successful than Brady/Olynyk/Smart/Crowder (I believe this was the meeting Jae told KD the Celts had the answers to the GS test…smh). 

Not only that, but you have to remember that the Celts essentially don't have money to go after big free agents. You know, young stars that are in their primes that might not give a shit about how Tom Brady is the GOAT. That's the beauty of my idea. All the Celts need to do is round out their roster with savvy vets who are searching for a ring. You're telling me as long as Olynyk isn't in that meeting that Brady can't convince an "older" vet who appreciates Tom's greatness to sacrifice just like he did in order to finally win a ring? Of course he can. Tom Brady can do anything.

Sure, it might be easier to just cash all those TV money checks, but the Tom Brady I know is a competitor. He needs a challenge. I can assure him nothing is more challenging than getting the Celts over the hump and to the top of the mountain. We're rocking with a 1 title in 35 year run. That seems like a big enough challenge to me.

If I know Brad like I think I know Brad, he's already made the call, even though Brady only retired a few hours ago. Wyc is going on air talking about how he'll spend whatever money it takes to win, so I'm going to need that to include a blank check for Tom to get him on the recruiting trail as as this NBA trade deadline. I want him in the house of every buyout candidate that the Celts might want, I know Tom's got the time.