Modern-Day Romeo: Tech Billionaire Dumps His Fiancee Because Her Breast Cancer Is a "Net Negative" For His Portfolio

DAILY MAIL — Billionaire Bryan Johnson, 45, spends millions trying to reverse the aging process, so he can have the organs of an 18-year-old 

But ex-fiancée Taryn Southern claims he kicked her out of their LA home and reneged on their separation deal after she was diagnosed with cancer in 2019.

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Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life;
Whole misadventured piteous overthrows
Do with their death bury their parents' strife.

With these lines begins the story of the world's greatest romance, Romeo and Juliet — the timeless story of the archetypal young lovers' battle with authority, the desires of the heart being kept apart due to external forces out of their control. So powerful and resonant is Shakespeare's play that we are still using it as a comparison for the tragedies of love after more than four centuries.

Giphy Images.

426 years later, here's the Daily Mail:

EXCLUSIVE: Biotech tycoon who spends $2M a year to reverse his aging process 'insisted fiancée tell him of all her past lovers and sex acts' - then dumped her when her breast cancer diagnosis turned her into a 'net negative'

The ex-fiancée of the billionaire biotech tycoon who has spent millions of dollars in efforts to reverse the aging process, has accused him of dumping her when she became ill.

The relationship went south and in October 2019 Johnson demanded that she move out of the home they had shared for three years – while she was in active treatment for Stage III breast cancer.

'Ms. Southern had endured Defendant Johnson's pattern of manipulative and coercive behavior throughout their relationship; however, once in cancer treatment, when aggressive treatments like chemotherapy, radiation, antibody infusions, and targeted therapies left her emotionally and physically vulnerable, Defendant Johnson saw his opportunity to force Ms. Southern under an intense and targeted campaign of physical, emotional, and financial distress to execute an agreement that purported to silence Ms. Southern and curtail her entitlement to financial support, and payment of outstanding debts and equity in Kernel.'

He called her 'bad deal' and a 'net negative' – referring to her cancer diagnosis, it is claimed.

Johnson even allegedly barred her from posting about seeking a new place on Facebook as it would 'make him look bad.'

It's like somebody programmed one of those new A.I. writing engines to take Shakespeare's story and make it the exact opposite. Out are the Montagues and Capulets, the balconies and the poisons, the "two star cross'd lovers." In is Bryan Johnson the freakozoid wellness-obsessed Sugar Daddy billionaire breaking off a marriage because his fiancee's inconvenient breast cancer was a net-negative on his financial forecast.

Aside from being a dirtbag, he double-dips in being the weirdest guy on the planet:

The lawsuit can be revealed after it emerged that Johnson spends $2million a year on a team of 30 doctors that have made his body like that of a 37-year-old even though he is 45. 

Johnson, who sold his payment company Braintree for $800million in 2013, wakes up at 5am, takes around two dozen supplements a day, and eats a strict vegan diet of blended foods with the aim of making his organs like those of an 18-year-old.

Through his venture, 'Project Blueprint, Johnson and his doctors say he has reduced his overall biological age by more than five years and now has the heart of a 37-year-old, the skin of a 28-year-old and the lung capacity and fitness of an 18-year-old.

…Southern says he insisted she tell him about all her previous lovers – and even what sex acts they got up to, she claims in a lawsuit obtained exclusively by DailyMail.com.

'Defendant Johnson pushed Ms. Southern to share a full list of her past sexual partners with him and describe the sexual acts that took place,' the suit states.   

What struck me throughout this article (besides the guy spending two million bucks a year to reverse-age his organs forcing his fiancee to create a spreadsheet of who she fucked and how they fucked her starting with high school prom before dumping her for having the audacity to contract breast cancer when she knew full-well how it would reflect on his P&L's) was how casually and without-comment they kept treating these "agreements" he had and kept "executing." Agreements to support her financially in exchange for "intellectual and professional services" — agreements to separate into a new house so he could continue Sugar Daddying online.  This guy had contracts drawn up seemingly for every aspect of a relationship and contingency of a break-up. 

Johnson allegedly promised to support Southern financially and medically for the 'rest of her life' – even placing her in an expensive wellness program because he wanted her around 'forever.' In exchange, he would receive Southern's companionship as well as her 'intellectual and professional' services for his various business projects and ventures, Southern says in court papers filed in Los Angeles.

…He then allegedly forced her to sign an agreement which deprived her of $149,000 he promised to help her settle in a new home and pay for her medical treatment.

'Defendant Johnson saw his opportunity to force Ms. Southern under an intense and targeted campaign of physical, emotional, and financial distress to execute an agreement that purported to silence Ms. Southern and curtail her entitlement to financial support, and payment of outstanding debts and equity in Kernel.'

Along with everything included in the parentheses a few lines above this, you gotta wonder if maybe at a certain point there are so many red flags that you just stop seeing flags altogether? Like a maximum saturation point of red flags?

Or maybe it's just not common knowledge that you don't sign an agreement every 5 minutes to date someone. Finances are always a tough area. For vitually anyone above the social class of "homeless," there's a lot of tricky terrain to navigate when it comes to money and marriage — but when there is actual wealth involved, it becomes an especially hazardous ordeal.  As practical and sensible as a prenup may be, no little girl grows up dreaming of the day her Prince Charming relays to her the statistics of the present-day divorce rates — Cinderella didn't have it lovingly whispered in her ear "we'll just let the lawyers sort all that out" as the carriage drove off. Chances are good however — at least for normal non-biotech tycoon people with appropriately aged organs — given you've both decided to commit to each other and spend your lives together, you've got a pretty good thing going, and a prenup discussion is an unromantic but necessary and responsible little blip on the radar. 

That's the line though. Prenup is the line. You don't need to sign an agreement to create a Wikipedia page of your sexual history. You don't need to initial a contract to have your liver cryogenically frozen for your boyfriend to use in his bilberry smoothies for its life-essence.  That's not normal. Any time a form, a document, anything resembling the look of a contract comes out of the love-of-your-life's pocket with a request for you to "just look it over and see what you think" and there's a condition for maintaining a non-cancer-afflicted anatomy, that is your cue to go. That is a red flag hurled like a javelin by an Olympian from 75 yards away impaling you through the socket of the eye and out of the back of your brain.

It's too late for Taryn, but hopefully that helps someone someday avoid a tech dork sex freak with a teenager's intestines.

PS,

But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? / It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. / Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,/ Who is already sick and pale with grief, / That thou her maid art far more fair than she: / Be not her maid, since she is envious; / Her vestal livery is but sick and green / And none but fools do wear it; cast it off.

Listen to how beautiful that sounds. That's Romeo telling Juliet he's gonna take her virginity. Literally 8 lines of metaphor and allegory just to ask if he can smash.  Compare that to: "She's a "bad deal" and a "net negative" who "didn't fulfill her contractual obligations" of "companionship" and "intellectual and professional services." King Douche Bryan Johnson talking to his suffering cancer-ridden fianceé like she's a TPS Report.  

They just don't make em like they used to.