This Poor Dog Needs to Be Removed From Sam Bankman Fried's Custody RIGHT NOW

Chicago Tribune. Getty Images.

(This is the face of a guy who dislikes dogs more than my colleague Eddie.)

NY Post - Disgraced former cryptocurrency mogul Sam Bankman-Fried has reportedly enlisted the services of a 75-pound dog who is trained to attack on command using a secret code word.

The family of the fallen FTX founder recently purchased Sandor, a German shepherd who is described by Forbes magazine as “welcoming, but trained to attack with the utterance of a secret word.”

Sandor is the last line of defense for Bankman-Fried, who is under house arrest at the $4 million Palo Alto, Calif. home of his parents, Stanford law professors Joseph Bankman and Barbara Fried.

Sam Bankman Fried's parents got him a German Shepherd named Sandor… which is totally cool if you're an 8-year-old, not a 30-year-old ex-billionaire.

Of course, unlike the puppy that your mom and dad brought home from Petco to distract you from their divorce (just me?), Sandor attacks on command using a secret word.

Apparently Sandor is around to keep Sam safe… and to keep him company (spoiler: scamming literally every single person on Earth will turn your friends against you).

And it makes sense considering three dudes tried to infiltrate Sam's mommy and daddy's house recently. Presumably they didn't want to ask him for financial advice.

But the one we should really be concerned for here is Sandor. No good boy deserves to be locked up with that skid mark of a human being, Sam Bankman Fried. We can not let this stand. And quite frankly, I cannot believe PETA will let this stand.

PS - SBF is probably a cat person anyway.

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