Predicting Which Teams Are Going To Get The Dreaded Analyst Sweep Jinx
NFL Playoffs today and tonight. The Saturday night primetime NFL game is so underrated. If you do go out to the bars in January it's a nice treat to have it on the TV's. If your team is in the game and go to a buddy's house it's even better. Everyone can let loose on a Saturday night. Allows you to get shit done during the day and be uninterrupted for the game. All great stuff.
One subplot of The NFL Playoffs is the dreaded time when everyone seems to love your team and you fall victim to the dreaded analyst sweep graphic. If the public, or even the experts all love your team straight up, you know you could be set up for heartbreak.
Don' believe me ? Thanks to the great work of our social team (Shoutout Big Pauly Day 1 (Formely Bald Paul With An Agenda) guy grinds harder than anyone (when he's not at Eleven.) and he trained his social team to do the same). (Yes I am a changed man, but yes he still does go to Eleven. Facts are facts.) I was able to find some prime examples.
The Colts and Chargers won those games, the Rams did not. It's not always automatic. but it is automatic to give you a sick feeling in your stomach if everyone loves your team. With that said, let's rank who the analysts will be most likely to sweep the board.
I'll go in order of the games this weekend.
Saturday 4:30_- Seahawks @ 49ers
Likelihood of an analyst sweep : 99%
You would be crazy to think anyone would have the stones to pick Seattle straight up here. Everyone is in love with San Fran. Even with a rookie QB. They play D, they have weapons. They are a huge favorite. San Fran will almost surely get the sweep graphic.
How worried I would be about losing this game if I was a 49ers fan : 10 %
I think even with laying the big number and the sweep. There's little to worry about here. The only thing I would worry about here is that it's a divisional game. Crazy shit can happen the 3rd time you play someone. Look no further than the fact that Mark Sanchez beat Tom Brady in a playoff game. That would be in the back of my mind here as a very small worry.
Saturday 8:15 - Chargers @ Jaguars
Likelihood of an analyst sweep : 20%
The line is Chargers. I weirdly could see the Jags sweeping the board here with everyone worrying about sayin "I like the Chargers here" which also means you like Brandon Staley to win a playoff game. I do think the allure of Justin Herbert is too much that someone on the panel of 4-5 will pick LA, but I would not be shocked if all Jags graphics show up.
How worried I would be about losing this game if I was a Jags fan : 60%
Now … there's some reasons behind this. A- the game is essentially a toss up so you were lying if you weren't 50% nervous (maybe more) going into this game. 2- Now add in the fact that all of a sudden everyone loves your team to win ? That would terrify me. D- You made the playoffs as a result of a shit bag division and have a QB starting his first playoff game. That would terrify me as well.
The ace up your sleeve is that The Jags pumped LA 38-10 in their meeting this year . Or is that actually something to worry about because guys may be overlooking the Chargers ?
If this does end up a Jags sweep, be worried.
Now …
Put all that identical information if it's a Chargers sweep . A short favorite on the road would terrify me, with a QB making a playoff debut, and a coach you can't trust. Terrifying. If this ends up a Chargers sweep … I would be terrified.
Sunday 1:00 - Dolphins at Bills
Likelihood of an analyst sweep : 99.99%
Sklyar Thompson was my guy at K State but this is a different animal. You have to be nuts to pick the Dolphins outright. Although it would be nice to see Frank The Tank win just one.
How worried I would be if I was a Bills fan : 0.01%
Sweep the board all you want analysts, even the graphics can't mush this one.
Sunday 4:30 - Giants @ Vikings
Likelihood of an analyst sweep : 10%
The Giants seem to be a very trendy dog. So much so that Jersey Jerry has gone the complete other side and now feels like The Vikings are a great play because of how much they are being disrespected.
I would be shocked to see the Vikings sweep the board, and while the Giants are a trendy dog, I know they won't sweep.
How worried I would be about losing this game if I was a Vikings fan: 75%
Vikings won't get analyst jinxed here but they have a lot to worry about. A- the Giants went to Minnesota this year and gave them a war. 2- Minnesota (aside from the Purple people eaters years) have sure had some awful luck in the playoffs
D- The Defense is bad ! If the Giants can run the rock and shorten possessions they sure are live. Minnesota should worry about about that side of the ball, which makes them worry about being taken down early.
Sunday 8:15 - Ravens @ Bengals
Likelihood of an analyst sweep : 99%
Tyler Huntley or Anthony Brown on the road vs this guy ?
Please … no one will pick the Ravens .
How worried I would be about losing this game if I was a Bengals fan: 1%
Again …
No worries when that's your guy.
Monday 8:15 - Cowboys @ Bucs
Likelihood of an analyst sweep : 5 %
Would be shocked if either side sweeps. Dallas is spunky, yet Brady has never lost to The Cowboys, and the name Tom Brady is enough for someone to pick them on the graphic (one would think)
How worried I would be about losing this game if I was a Cowboys fan: 40%
Brady hasn't been great, but now everyone picks you as a road favorite ? Scary. Also The Dallas Cowboys haven't experienced playoff success in a while. Don't believe me ?
How worried I would be about losing this game if I was a Bucs fan: 85%
Your team stinks and your QB is old. If everyone loves the Bucs in this game , just don't even watch you are done. Go to bed early and shut it down … you are done.
To recap, I think half the games could be sweeps , and I have talked myself into loving the team the analysts don't in the Jags Chargers game, and Seattle being a darkhorse wild upset just because something insane always happens in the playoffs.
Keep your eye out for those graphics, it may be the key to success !