Joe Mixon Does Not Give A Flying Fuck About His Coin Toss Celebration Fine, And Offers Roger Goodell A Wholesome Bargain

It's no secret the Cincinnati Bengals were PISSED about the whole coin toss AFC playoff scenario alternative unilaterally dished out by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. While I credit the league for coming up with a somewhat sensible solution in the wake of a surreal, life-threatening situation involving Damar Hamlin — thankfully he's trending in a mind-bogglingly positive direction — you can see why the Bengals felt a certain type of way.

Joe Mixon decided to express his displeasure once he reached the end zone against the Ravens. It cost him over $13,000.

Shout out to Chad Johnson. The celly idea was Ochocinco's brainchild. He's even offering to take the hit to his checkbook on Mixon's behalf.

But I think Mixon has the right idea here. Everyone has been in a charitable spirit since Hamlin's tragic on-field collision with Tee Higgins. Millions of dollars went to Hamlin's toy drive as is. Ask thine selves, NFL and Roger Goodell: Would you make more of a positive impact by taking a fraction out of Mixon's lucrative, multi-million dollar contract, or by sending a five-figure donation to the Boys and Girls Clubs of Cincinnati? Pretty straightforward answer. 

Leave it to Goodell to be a downer, reject Mixon's appeal and carry on his merry way instead of flipping a coin for it. Someone should get him buzzed like he was for the COVID draft. That momentous day when the Bengals selected Joe Burrow and everything changed. Maybe Goodell's sphincter will loosen on shit like this that, to be clear, had nothing to do and was not any shot at Damar Hamlin whatsoever. Lord knows people have been flying into the comments and onto the social media reply sections with that nonsense. Ignoramuses.

ICYMI, here's the recap of that regular-season finale featuring Mixon's TD and extracurricular activity:

If only there were some conveniently-timed merchandise for Who Dey Nation to wear their hearts and frustrations with the league office and The Commish on their sleeves…OH WAIT!

And these new items, too — go get you some!!