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Big W For Corporate Stiffs: Shopify Just Killed Work Meetings And Internal Group Chats

Giphy Images.

Fuck meetings, all my homies hate meetings.

It’s been ~3 years since I’ve worked in a traditional corporate environment (I worked at a big consulting firm… the kind where dreams go to die). But I still have PTSD. Meaningless small talk. “Leftover pizza in the break room” emails (does that still happen post-COVID?). And endless meetings. So. Many. Meetings.

So it gave me renewed hope in society to hear what Shopify CEO Tobi Lutke is making meetings his bitch.

Bloomberg - As employees return from holiday break, the Canadian e-commerce firm said it’s conducting a “calendar purge,” removing all recurring meetings with more than two people “in perpetuity,” while reupping a rule that no meetings at all can be held on Wednesdays. Big meetings of more than 50 people will get shoehorned into a six-hour window on Thursdays, with a limit of one a week. The company’s leaders will also encourage workers to decline other meetings, and remove themselves from large internal chat groups.

Oh, you thought working from home was cool? You haven’t felt alive until you declined a meeting with your dickhead boss and a bunch of his fellating underlings.

And imagine being able to remove yourself from a Slack Channel where people you hate discuss going to happy hours you won’t attend? (… WITHOUT fear that you won’t get hit with “not being a team player” at your year-end meeting).

Keep your pay raises and “FlEx SCheDUle” and feed “no meetings” directly into my veins.

Also, tip of the hat to Tobi for putting on a masterclass for finding a true "win-win." Not only has he made his employees happy, but investors in $SHOP have to be fully torqued. Cost savings for days that translate directly to the bottom line. 

Tobi in the early lead for TIME Person of the Year for 2023.

Want more business and markets news? Follow me on Twitter for real time news and commentary (@JPMorinChase). I also write The Water Coolest, Barstool's daily email biz and markets newsletter. It hits your inbox at 6 AM covering all the finance and markets stories you need to know. Join below…