Uncle Frank Is Trying To Take Over The Crime Family: The Greatest Home Alone Mob Theory You Will Read Online

I've been working from home or in media for most of my adult life and can never figure out when people are off work this time of year. Can I ask a buddy to grab a lunch beer or will that out me for being a complete degenerate since he's still sitting in a cubicle being a productive member of society? It's a risky play.

I could be completely wrong but I feel like the Friday before Christmas a lot of people are off work. Especially when a large portion of the population is getting blasted in the face with a load of white so big it would make Abella Danger gag. So if you're home and can't go outside, you're going to need some good stuff to watch on TV.

The rich pageantry and tradition of the Radiance Technologies Independence Bowl doesn't start until 3pm so you'e going to need to find something else. My son and I will be enjoying the Home Alone series. Just 1 and 2 though. I refuse to acknowledge the existence of the obvious money grab that was the rest of that series.

If you too choose to rewatch some of the best Christmas hi jinx ever recorded to film, then there is a theory I need to share with you. One that I think about every year around this time. One that makes so much sense it has to be true.

Ken Carmen is the morning host on 92.3 The Fan in Cleveland and this is his theory about what is REALLY happening in Home Alone 1 and 2. 

You have undoubtedly heard people speculate that Kevin Mcallister's dad Peter is in the mafia. But most of that was based purely on the fact he lived in a house worth millions of dollars and had the cash to fly an entire tribe of people to Paris and Florida around the holidays. But Carmen's theory goes deeper. Way deeper.

His theory explains the strife between a made man and his family responsibilities. A struggle for supreme power in the crime syndicate escalated by a treasonous brother. And a twist of fate that you will never expect. 

Ladies and gentlemen, the Home Alone theory.

Mery Christmas ya filthy animals!