Sam Bankman-Fried's Co-Founder and Ex Just Flipped On Him

The Department of Justice's PJ carrying SBF (so, Con Air) wasn't even over international waters yesterday before the US Attorney for the Southern District of New York took the mic to go nuclear on SBF.

I'm no Big Man of Campus (read: Barstool's resident legal and crime expert, Jeff Nadu), but it appears we have a textbook case of snitching on our hands, ladies and gentlemen. 

Ex-Alameda Research CEO Caroline Ellison and FTX co-founder Gary Wang have pleaded guilty to a laundry list of charges, but agreed to “cooperate” with US authorities. Spoiler: they'll get a slap on the wrist while the feds throw the book at Sam Bankman Fried. Fredo couldn't have drawn it up any better himself.

WSJ - Two associates of FTX founder Sam Bankman-Fried have pleaded guilty for their roles in fraud that contributed to the cryptocurrency exchange’s collapse and are cooperating with federal investigators.

Caroline Ellison, the former chief executive of Alameda Research, a trading firm tied to FTX, and Gary Wang, FTX’s former chief technology officer, both pleaded guilty to criminal offenses similar to those Mr. Bankman-Fried was charged with last week.  

Damian Williams, the U.S. attorney for the Southern District of New York, announced the charges and plea agreements in a video posted online Wednesday night. Mr. Williams called for others who participated in alleged misconduct at FTX or Alameda to come forward.

On paper Caroline and Gary's charges make it sound like they just smuggled vape cartridges into Russia…

ABC - Ellison pleaded guilty to conspiracy to commit wire fraud on customers of FTX, wire fraud on customers of FTX, conspiracy to commit wire fraud on lenders of Alameda Research and wire fraud on lenders of Alameda Research, conspiracy to commit commodities fraud, conspiracy to commit securities fraud and conspiracy to commit money laundering, according to the court documents.

Together, the seven counts carry a maximum sentence of 110 years in prison. 

Wang pleaded guilty to four counts: conspiracy to commit wire fraud on customers of FTX, wire fraud on customers of FTX, conspiracy to commit commodities fraud and conspiracy to commit securities fraud, the court documents stated. He faces up to 50 years in prison. 

But we all know how this movie ends. “Cooperating” is the quickest way to land yourself a get out of jail free card and save your orifices from 50 to 110 years of being violently filled.

The move is a no-brainer for Caroline and Gary. Those guys from Atlas Trading should take notes. 

This Damian Williams cat sounds like he means business. Plus, what's the downside of flipping on a guy who sniffs his own farts? I mean does this look like the face of a man-child willing to exact violent revenge?

Chicago Tribune. Getty Images.

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