German Newspaper Can't Handle Being Eliminated From The World Cup So They Blast The Team's WAGs For Not Partying Enough In Qatar

[Post] - Bild, the country’s paper of record, asked “What’s wrong with our Wags?” after Germany was eliminated on Thursday. Their significant others, according to Bild, didn’t enjoy themselves enough in Qatar.

The German wives and girlfriends, they claimed, had much less fun than the partners of England and Wales, who could “drink Qatar dry.”

“Not thirsty?” the paper asked. “Dancing leg allergy? Don’t feel like lunging?”

Incredible. This is how you deliver a spin zone. We're mad the US got eliminated in the Round of 16 here, now imagine Germany not getting out of the group stage. They are losing their shit - because it happened two World Cups in a row. They could blame plenty of things but going to the WAGs not partying enough? That's next level thinking. That's how you get everyone talking about that and Qatar rather than choking. 

Of course England and Wales could drink Qatar dry. That's what they do over there. I know Germany likes their beer, but the English WAGs are known for being there. Again we're talking about Qatar. What do you want the German wives and girlfriends to do? Not like they could go out and really enjoy themselves. Not to mention it was setup this way: 

Gotta hand it to Blind though. This is a hilarious line

“Be happy that you too are now flying home with your football dwarves!” Bild concluded. “It can’t go on like this…”

It can't go on like this! We need people partying! Well, good news in 2026 you can legally party in the United States. You don't have to worry about dumbass laws like in Qatar. Sure, you might get eliminated early again, but at least you can party. 

Just incredible.