2 Minutes For Attempted Murder
Happy Gilmore was the only guy to ever take his skate off and try to stab somebody with it during a hockey game. And as the old saying goes, "if you ain't first, you're last". So this fucking lunatic over here decided that he needed to do something different to stand out. He needed some originality. So instead of taking his skate off, he decided to keep his skates on and becomes the first hockey player to ever attempt to murder an opponent by kicking their head off.
I'm starting to think that maybe hockey just isn't meant for some people. I'd argue that this dude should probably be in prison at the moment, and I don't know of any correctional facilities that have ice rinks anyway. So his playing career is most likely done for the time being. But if somehow a trip to prison isn't on his immediately schedule, it might be worth throwing a lifetime ban his way.
By the way--according to Twitter, this was from a high school JV game. So luckily the kid probably had a cage on and wouldn't have taken a boot or blade square to the face. Even still, though. That's one weird twist or turn away from taking a skate blade to the throat. Jail seems appropriate.