Elon Musk's 'Bedside Table' Is Exactly As Strange As You'd Expect it to Be

Elon is a quirky dude. I mean, he dated Grimes.

But the photo he shared of his 'bedside table', more commonly known to us peasants as a nightstand, is next level.

Before the comments devolve into a Second Amendment debate, allow me to clarify: those guns are fake. And honestly that may be worse. Bringing a knife to a gun fight is a bad idea. But you know what's worse? Bringing a fake gun. Elon presumably has better security than the Pelosis, but if you're under attack you probably don't want the assailant seeing a fake gun, jumping to conclusions and forcing your 26 offspring and 11 baby mamas to fight for your stake in 6 different companies like they're the Roys. Not to mention, have we learned nothing from Alec Baldwin, Elon? Safety first.

That said, I can get on board with the fake guns if they're used in some sort of weird sexual role playing fantasy that I'm not privy to because I'm not a member of the 3-comma club.

Now onto the Americana porn…

As a red, white, and blue-blooded American, I can get behind the Washington Flintlock replica complete with "Washington Crossing the Delaware" (see also: weird sexual role playing fantasy). And don't think I missed the set of the Declaration of Independence, the US Constitution, and "George Washington’s Rules of Civility and Decent Behaviour in Company and Conversation" down in back. It's likely a nod to Elon's commitment to free speech, but deep down I'd like to think it's Elon showing his support for the USMNT.

The only real problem I have is with the 4 opened caffeine free Diet Cokes. Unless Elon plans to use those cans to freebase some meth, I can't help but wonder, why Elon? Caffeine free soda is like alcohol-free beer. You can't even catch a buzz if you drink enough of them. It's hard to trust a man who drinks caffeine free soda.

But I can appreciate his lack of fucks given about using coasters…

If I was the richest dude in the world, I'd say fuck coasters and just have my staff buy a new bedside table when mine got too repulsive. In fact, I'm not the richest person in the world (and I'm pretty sure I don't even crack the top 25%) and I'd rather buy a new nightstand than use a coaster.

Large, Intern Ian and I discussed Elon's leaked Twitter deck, Twitter 2.0, and Black Friday sales figures on today's episode of The Family office…