Dumping Them Out: The Legend of Gibson

Dumping Them Out > Leaving Them In.

Sometimes when I'm perusing the internet for Hot Girl Boobs GIFs, I stumble into the world of Porn GIFs. Obviously I can't post those on here, but I always wonder who those are for. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a graphic Porn GIF from time to time, but at that point why wouldn't you just watch a video? Are there people who have Porn GIF's saved in their phone for emergency situations. Like if they find themselves in a pinch where they don't have any cell service but need to rub one out. I guess that is kind of smart. GIFs are better than pictures. 

Have you heard about Black Friday at the Barstool Store yet? Oh, you haven't? Well Barstool Sports is offering 20% off on all items in the store through Cyber Monday. 

Because I don't want to get fired want to do something fun for the fine readers of Barstool Sports, I am doing a promotion as well. If you buy any item in the Barstool Sports Store, and reply to this tweet with the order confirmation, your name will get put in a drawing. I'll draw 5 names, and the 5 people who are drawn will be the subjects of my Christmas blog. I'll send a short set of questions to the winners so I can learn a little bit about them to use in the blog. And if you don't want to use yourself, and just want to make up a character, that works too.

Is that something that people want? I have no idea. It's the only decent thing I could think of. I just really really want to not get fired help my company achieve their financial goals.

We had our Dozen match this week vs Team Ziti and somehow pulled off the win. The hardest thing about the Dozen is not saying things like, "Oh yeah I actually knew that" after the answer is revealed. Or when the other team gets a question right, being like "Yep that's right", to show everyone that you did in fact know the answer. I know how annoying it is, but it's so hard to not do it. 

There is currently a skunk inside of Cleveland Browns stadium. That is so terrifying. If that skunk wanted to, he could sabotage the lives of everyone in that section. I'm shocked it hasn't started spraying already. That has to be a stressful situation for that skunk.

I had a skunk ruining my life once. One night, when I was living in Columbus, OH, I got back from the bars around 2am. I let my dog out the back door, and he got sprayed by a skunk. Nothing worse than having to give your dog a dish soap + baking soda bath while hammered drunk in the middle of the night. Whole house smelled like skunk. Then less than a week later, when the smell was finally gone, I let my dog out in the morning before work and he got sprayed again. Had to do the whole bath thing for the 2nd time in a week. Who house stunk again. My roommates were pissed.

I used to live in a hostel in South Central Los Angeles. It honestly wasn't as horrible as it sounds, but there were some sketchy characters there. One kid in particular who we hung out with for a bit was especially shady. I don't even remember his name, but he was a big psychedelic drugs guy. At one point he showed up with a bag full of cacti (cactuses). He said they were the "San Pedro Cactus", and if you cook them correctly, it makes you trip balls. It was like a 12 hour process to prepare the cactus. We stayed up all night making this weird cactus soup concoction. A few of us ate it the next morning, and actually kind of worked. I didn't trip balls or anything, but I definitely felt something, so he wasn't completely full of shit. 

The cactus kid didn't even live in the hostel, he just infiltrated our friend group. There was a group of like 5 of us that typically hung out, and all of us separately assumed that he was someone else's friend. I remember we had the conversation and I was like, "Well you know him right?", and my friend was like, "No, I thought he was your friend?". And we realized that nobody had any clue who this guys was, or where he came from. He literally just showed up one day and we all assumed that someone else had invited him. He hung out with us for a few weeks without any of us questioning it. I think he was just a charismatic homeless guy.

The last time we saw him, he showed up to the hostel with a shiny blue expensive looking guitar. He claimed it was given to him by someone who owed him money. He was trying to sell it to one of us, but nobody wanted it. He hung around a plucked on his guitar for like an hour or so before he eventually left. Later that day, a few of us were hanging out watching the news, and this story came up.

Swear to god that's the guy. He literally popped up on the news stealing the same guitar he was just parading around the hostel that very day. Somebody called him to let him know that he was wanted on the news, and that he should probably ditch the guitar. I think it kinda freaked him out, because we never saw him again. From then on out, we referred to him as Gibson (because it was a Gibson guitar). Fucking Gibson. What a legend. Just a homeless man who infiltrated our friend group, gifted us San Pedro Cacti, stole an $1,100 guitar, and showed up on the news. Simpler times.