Surviving Barstool | New Episodes Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday 8PM ETTUNE IN

This Guy Who Won The Lottery And Kept It A Secret From His Wife And Kids Has It All Figured Out

Bloomberg - A man in southern China is keeping his 219 million yuan ($29.9 million) lottery jackpot a secret from his wife and child, saying he was worried that the winnings might make them lazy.

The man identified only as Mr. Li went alone to the lottery office in Nanning, in the southern region of Guangxi, to claim his prize, the Nanning Evening News reported. He wore a bright yellow costume that covered his head in photos showing him accepting the prize.

“I didn’t tell my wife and child for fear that they would be too complacent and would not work or work hard in the future,” the man told the newspaper last week. 

He donated 5 million yuan to charity and said he hadn’t decided what to do with the rest. He collects some 171.6 million yuan after taxes.

The man bought the winning ticket in a shop in Litang, a town of some 120,000 people just east of the regional capital of Nanning, the Nanning Evening News said. The day after he realized he won, he drove to the bigger city to present the ticket at the lottery headquarters.

“I only slept in a hotel because I was afraid to go out and lose the lottery ticket,” he said. 

China’s central government runs lotteries to raise money for welfare and sports.

Hey Mr. Li, I know you're catching a lot of heat on social media that you're totally unaware even exists because you live in China right now, but I just want you to know, I see you player.

Let all these fuckin haters take their shots from the cheap seats at you. Calling you a terrible husband. A sack of shit father. Greedy. Stingy. Deadbeat. Rapacious. Gluttonous. Avaricious. 

Whatever they want to call you. Fuck em. 

You're rich, they're not. 

And by they, I mean your wife and kids. 

We all know the truth as to what would happen if you were to tell them you won $30 million bucks. First thing your wife is going to bitch and complain about is upgrading your living situation. 

You guys were just fine all these years sharing 800 sq feet with 2 other families, what the fuck is her problem?

Next she's gonna want the new tits, and the new car, and the new wardrobe. Before you know it you're married to an entirely different person altogether. 

Your kids gonna probably want a pet. Something ridiculous like a pony. Which there's no chance in hell you're getting them. So you'll have to settle for a dog. Which you'll have to pay to feed while it eats you out of your house, unlike the rats your kids currently play with outside your front window. (Yes, I'm visualizing the living situation in Parasite for this blog by the way...)

Also, let me cut the peanut gallery off before they can even get to the hotel part. 

The day after he realized he won, he drove to the bigger city to present the ticket at the lottery headquarters.

“I only slept in a hotel because I was afraid to go out and lose the lottery ticket,” he said. 

My man needed some peace and quiet to figure out what he was going to do moving forward. On a clear mind. It's not like he went and blew it out at the strip club, invited a bunch of them back to the hotel room afterward and railed lines of the good stuff all night.

Get your minds out of the gutter.

And until you've been in this guy's shoes, stop throwing stones. 

This guy had it all figured out. Go on living life the way you were. Quit your shit job, take up something part time to keep you from getting bored that's not too hard or complicated, and take more vacations with the family. Tell them your boss really likes you and takes care of you. Spoil your wife and kid every now and then and nobody will be the wiser.

In your down time gamble your ass off, go out to the nicest restaurants, and do whatever else you can think of without tipping your family off.

It's just like Big always said…

Mo money, mo problems indeed.