Sources Confirm Kyle Schwarber Is A Big Time Wawa Guy. Source? Kyle Schwarber
Holidays that span out over the course of a few days always kick ass. Hanukkah kicks ass because you get 8 straight days of holidays. But the greatest of them all? Well try an entire month and some change. From June 20th to July 31st, Wawa celebrates Hoagiefest. The most wonderful time of the year when you can get a 6" hoagie for $5 and a 10" for $6. Hoagiefest gets the people going. But most importantly, it got Kyle Schwarber going this summer.
In the 31 games the Phillies played during Hoagiefest, Kyle Schwarber had 15 homeruns. He was automatic. Nuke job after nuke job after nuke job.
But in the start of the postseason, the bat was getting a little icy. He didn't even have a hit until the 3rd game of the Braves series. So in an effort to fire up the bat again and get Kyle Schwarber back to launching piss missiles, Wawa stepped up and introduced "Schwarberfest" at the start of the NLCS. The same deal as Hoagiefest, just for the big fella. And on the first night of Schwarberfest my true love gave to me, 488 feet of pure man meat.
Let's just let the numbers do the talking for themselves. Before Schwarberfest: 6 games, 0 homeruns. After Schwarberfest: 5 games, 3 homeruns. Now I want you to sit there and tell me that there's not a direct correlation. This man loves cold cuts. He loves Wawa. And just like Bryce said…
Thank you, Wawa, for the Schwarber thing. The Astros might have the pitching depth. They might have the experience. They might have been one of the most consistently dominant teams over the course of the 162-game season and are yet to lose a game in the postseason so far. But the Phillies have Schwarberfest. And that's the only thing that matters right now. Because there's no defending its magic.
Sidenote: I do hope that Schwarber has had some better meals than Wawa since he's been in Philly. But for the time being, that's the meal of champions.