What I Have Learned From Twitter Doctors

In case you missed it, some people think my ankle is hurt.

So for the last day or so, people have been giving me advice. And what have I learned from this Twitter doctors? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. After receiving tweets from all corners of the internet in response to my very bruised foot and ankle, I am significantly more confused, and far less confident that I know how to deal with this situation.

I have learned that no matter what I do, I will be able to find someone who is telling me I am right, and someone who is telling me I am wrong. 

The knowledge I previously had regarding how to take care of a hurt ankle was very limited. But I did know that I should rest the ankle, put it on ice, wrap it in a bandage, and keep it elevated. There were plenty of people on the internet who gave me this advice as well.

However, according to a handful of other extremely confident people, that is the worst thing you can possibly do.

As I'm posting these I'm starting to wonder of this guy is trolling me. Idk.. I think he's being serious. So ice is bad, don't take any ibuprofen, and put AS MUCH WEIGHT ON IT AS POSSIBLE. He's not the only person to tell me this.

Who the fuck am I supposed to believe? I was very sure that icing, elevating, and staying off of my foot was the correct thing to do, but apparently not. I don't fucking know. I really appreciate all the support guys, I know everyone means well, but your advice has done nothing but confuse me.

Another thing that I have had sent to me multiple times, which I don't have the slightest idea how anybody could expect me to decipher, is this chart.

You kidding me? There are so many things I have questions about. Which of those pics is the the inside or the outside of the foot? Is "Lateral view" and "Medial view" supposed to tell me that? How am I supposed to determine exactly where the pain is coming from? Yeah it kind of hurts in those general areas. But it doesn't hurt THAT bad. People have been sending me this like, "don't worry man, I got you, this should clear everything up." I would like to be very clear to everyone who has sent me this chart that it has not be helpful in the slightest.

Another thing that happened, which I certainly did not ask for, want, or need (but should have fully expected), was an onslaught of foot injury pictures. I was sent no less than 30 disgustingly damaged feet/ankles. 

I'm not going to post those tweets here. You don't need to see them either. You didn't need to see my gnarly foot to begin with. For that I apologize. Me posting that just gave the internet the green light to send me the most disgusting feet pics they could come up with.

Also, I do have to come clean about something. Not that I lied, but based on this picture, I can see how people would think I jumped from the top of the stairs. I was at least halfway down the stairs when I jumped to grab the ledge. Jumping from the top of the stairs would be positively suicidal. 

All that being said, before you keep yelling at me, I'm going to a clinic. I'm walking even better than I was yesterday, and I can move my foot way better, but I figured I might as well. You win internet. Congrats. You bullied me into taking care of my own health. I was sent far too many tweets (that had weirdly threatening udertones) telling me I won't be walking 6 years from now if I don't go to an Urgent Care so a "doctor" wearing jeans can tell me to keep weight off of it. Here is how I imagine my visit to the clinic will go.

"Doctor" - What brings you here?

Me - I rolled my ankle

"Doctor" - Ok let me see it

Me - shows ankle

"Doctor" - When did you do that?

Me - Wednesday

"Doctor" - You look like you're walking fine

Me - Yeah but I figured I should be safe

"Doctor" - Well its fine, just stay home and rest

Me - Ok

"Doctor" - Also we lied on our website we don't take insurance that will be $1500 

Me - Ok thanks

Thanks again. Love, John Rich.