Brandon Walker Has Never Had Peanut Butter Out Of The Jar Or A PB&J And Everything About Him Makes Sense Now

First off, everyone saying he is lying just shut up because this would be the weirdest thing ever to lie about. There is nothing better than opening up a fresh jar of peanut butter and just scooping it with your finger or even a spoon. As a kid my dad would just straight up eat peanut butter for a snack so I am stunned by this news. 

The only explanation for him not having a peanut butter and jelly is that Mississippi didn't have schools when he was young and he was just ate goat cheese on his farm. A PB&J is the staple of bagged lunches as a kid. If you got one of those and a Cosmic Brownie in middle school, you were the coolest kid in class that day. There was nothing better than trading people snacks during lunch to get something that you really want. 

I really can't believe this because even peanut butter and fluff is an elite lunch sandwich. I figured if I asked everyone in the world 99% of people would have had a PB&J. The 1% are the annoying bastards who have a peanut allergy and ruin it for everyone on planes that want peanuts as a snack. I know it is serious but I think we should have a peanut allergy section on planes so the rest of us can enjoy a long time staple of flying. Now that I think about it, I can't believe hasn't even had a Uncrustable, which is one of the best car snacks you can have.

This caller who called in that saud he has never had spaghetti must've grown up living under a rock. I will say that living in New York we are spoiled with food because Dana had no idea what vodka sauce was. Everyone is just uncultured unless you are from New York and it shows very often. I moved Brandon Walker form Mississippi to New York back in the day and I asked to go to dinner. The only option he gave me was Arbys and chicken from the gas station. We went to Arbys and they had beautiful bathrooms. 

Let's not make fun of Walker though because it isn't his fault he was born in a state nobody ever wants to visit and all their news channel plays is how many kids went cow tipping the night before. I hope he finds a PB&J, drinks some milk and enjoy his night.