The Year of Public Sex Rolls on as a Couple Gets Busted at a Haunted House Amusement Park Ride

Understandably over the past two and a half years, one of the most often discussed topics was what a post-pandemic world will look like. The most common shorthand being, what will the "new normal" look like? 

Of course there are many different answers. But as we continue to put that dystopian hellscape we survived further and further into our rearview, the one that seems to sum it up best is, "The 'new normal' looks like a couple getting each other off in a public place in front of eyewitnesses." 

Sometimes in front of tens of thousands of witnesses:

While other, more discreet lovers seem to prefer the more intimate setting of an amusement park ride, in view of a more select group of onlookers:

Interestingly enough, that Ferris wheel Liaisons Dangereuses took place at Cedar Point in Ohio. And there must be something about the atmosphere at the park that inspires physical expressions of love. Maybe it's the fragrance of popcorn, cotton candy and vomit. It could be the sweet melodies of calliope music on constant repeat. It may be the encounters with the drug addled drifters with lengthy criminal records operating the rides that makes a romantic couple feel the precious fleetingness of life and want to celebrate it. Whatever it is, public indecency is catching on there. 

Cleveland 19 - A Brunswick man and a Stow woman, both 38 years old, are now facing public indecency charges for an alleged “sex offense” at Cedar Point.

According to the investigation report from Sandusky police, officers were dispatched to Cedar Point on Friday night shortly before 9 p.m. after a 17-year-old girl reported witnessing the alleged incident while in line near the amusement park’s Fearground Freakshow haunted HalloWeekends attraction.

The teen witness, who also recorded a video of the incident on her phone, told Sandusky police that she saw the woman with her hand inside the man’s zipper “making a back and forth motion inside of the male’s pants.” …

[T]he man denied any inappropriate contact and said the couple has been “very intimate with each other” because the two recently started dating.

The teen’s video that she shared with police factored into to the couple’s arrest.

For openers, before you ask, here is the couple in question:

They may look lovely and seem perfect for each other, but let's condemn anyone giving a handie in plain few of a teenager. In the strongest possible terms. Especially in, though not limited to, a place called Sandusky. I don't care how much you appreciate irony. Regardless of whether it's under the pants or he's hanging brain, that's a holocaust of wrong every time it's tried. 

Next, allow me to quote Nate in his Ferris wheel post:

I will say this though- there should be designated hours you should be allowed to fuck on a ferris wheel. Horny couples always want to fuck in random public places. So just let 'em. Not in the daytime when children are around, of course. But let people live their kink fantasies from like 9-midnight. Sell tickets, make a ton of money, no harm no foul.

Hear, hear. And to that, let me add there should be designated hours you should be allowed to fuck on the Fearground Freakshow haunted HalloWeekends. Clearly people are going to do it anyway. There's a lot of couple appeal to displays of Killer Clowns, Guy Getting Fried in the Electric Chair, Dr. Von Torture's Discount Pain Laboratory, Hillbilly With a Chainsaw and so on. Fear brings out something erotic in all of us. That romantic urge is what has kept America's Scream Queen industry thriving for decades. So for crying out loud, let's give the happy loving couples like these two a little privacy so they can get their freak on at the Freakshow. Unless being seen by teenagers is their thing, in which case lock them up for good.