D Wade's Belly Button Will Give You Magical Nightmares (NSFL)

Look I don’t know what that outfit is. Prince? MC Hammer? The Alliance of Magicians? Some crazy shit I’ve never even heard off? All I know it it was wildly irresponsible of this photographer to continue this photoshoot while the thing from Alien was ripping itself out of D. Wade’s gut. Jesus fucking Christ, man. What the hell is that? I’m a guy who gets self-conscious when he takes his shirt off, on account of the breasts, and even I’m disgusted right now. It look’s like you’ve got a dog’s dick poking out of your belly button. Did your doctor remember to cut the umbilical cord or has that thing just been slowly dying while it flops around your entire life? Clean it the fuck up, Dywane, go three button or double breasted the next time you’re doing a shirtless magic show and make that thing abracadabra the hell out of here.