Surviving Barstool | New Episodes Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday 8PM ETTUNE IN

Couple On TikTok Goes VIRAL For Going On A Break-Up Moon. A Little Get-Away Right Before They End Their Relationship

5.1 MILLION views. 600k likes. Almost 4000 comments. All because this chick and her boyfriend decided to have one last weekend of banging before she left him for untold reasons. I need to know more about this situation because on the surface, I hate this guy. I have this vision of him in my head that includes a nose ring, wire frame glasses even though he doesn't have a prescription, a boring job (but his real passion is playing the clarinet), a sticker that says "I voted" and he still double masks in the back of an uber. I don't want to think that of this mystery man, but I am guessing that is her "type". 

If this trip was planned and you want to have pre-break-up sex as opposed to post-break-up sex (the post is more fun because it's a little wrong) then fine. Can't just be burning deposits on an airbnb because your girl decided to jet off. Get your money's worth and your rocks off.  This quote by the girl makes me think that isn't the case though

“Me and my boyfriend are breaking up in 2 weeks. We went on a beautiful breakup weekend getaway. We cuddled in this spot reminiscing. We talked about all of our fears, our plans for healing, and what we hope for our futures. It was heartbreaking and healing all at once."

LIES!

This isn't an 18 year-old HS sweetheart situation where one of the two is going off to college and they're both young and horny idiots. No. They're grown adults. The absolute LAST thing in the world I want hear about from my future ex-girlfriend who is leaving me for a new opportunity in a new city is her plans to heal with some new dick. Pass. If that is the plan for the weekend getaway then count me out. I need the opposite of that. That isn't healing. That is emotional terrorism. She had another post where she says that she is "simultaneously falling in love with him more every day while grieving the relationship". 

Girl, if it's that good why the fuck are you breaking up? Do long distance. Stay with him. Have him move with you. Figure it out. Don't lament on social media and let the break-up algorithm bring you MILLIONS of views from other sad people. If all those captions were true then we wouldn't be clogging up everyone's feed with this sad sack simp breakup. And I hate the word simp, but jesus sometimes it just fits and this is it. 

So that is my advice. Stay together. If you can't figure out how to be together in whatever the new scenario is then your relationship was never worth a break up getaway or a dramatic social media post to begin with.