Putin Has Drafted A 7-Foot Tall Bigfoot Hunting Boxer To The Russian Army

After retiring, the Daily Star reports that he has dedicated the past decade trying to prove the existence of the Russian "Bigfoot".

Such was his obsession, that he even appeared on the 2013 Channel 4 series "Bigfoot Files" trekking through the Siberian wilderness.

In 2011, he went on a separate mission to try and track down Bigfoot, as reported by an official Russian government press release.

"Valuev did not manage to meet the yeti itself but on the way, he discovered 'traces' such as broken tree branches," it read.

"By the time they reached the cave, the expedition saw gigantic footprints, similar to a human's."

In another example of being desperate to find bodies to deploy to Ukraine, Vladimir Putin has enlisted an almost 50-year-old retired boxer who has been hunting Bigfoot for the past ten years. More specifically, the Siberian Yeti is closely related to the American Bigfoot or the Himalayan Yeti. 

This guy is probably looking for Bigfoot since he is probably the only man who could go toe to toe with the giant ape. He is probably looking for it so that he can fight it. I know if I were that large, I would try to fight Bigfoot, which he claims to have not only done but also landed a punch of the titan.

The Russian Giant claimed a month later to have finally found the creature, though, after carrying out another search for Bigfoot. According to Weekly World News, Valuev chased down the Yeti and punched it after spotting it on his expedition.

“But the beast just took my punch and… ran off," explained Valuev after his altercation with the animal. "At least, I know he is real. I’ve punched him. That’s real.”

Here is Valuev sitting down with kids who claimed to have seen Bigfoot. 

Actually now that I think about it, this may be a Usual Suspects thing where Nikolai is actually Bigfoot except he shaved and is trying to make people think he is not Bigfoot by looking for Bigfoot. 

Regardless, this guy is now Putin's show pony and an MP in the Russian government. You would think that would prevent you from getting sent to fight at the age of 50 but I guess not. 

The craziest part about this dude is he legit is sponsored by Kalashnikov; that's what the K stands for in AK-47.

Crazy how far Putin's going with this thing by legitimately getting the biggest target in the country enlisted.