Dog Walk Draft Grades: Best Insults Draft
The Chicago guys had Dante the Don on and he made sure to clarify that the rules would be no racial or homophobic stuff. Thanks for clarifying Dante!
Team #1: B+
Cocksucker is a good pick at 1.1 but can be used as a compliment as another panelist pointed out it can be a compliment if someone is really good at sports or someone you would love on your team but wouldn't want to play against. Fatass is one that would cut deep as someone in their mid-30s and a strong 2nd rounder. Dickhead atop Round 3 is strong and definitely can escalate a situation. Pigeon is certainly hockey specific and it's funny when Ryan Whitney says it, but I'm not sure this one is in play for everybody. Bum in the 5th Round is a steal and great for yelling at professional athletes when they are stinking.
Team #2: B+
Pussy at 2nd overall is a great pick. It can be a demeaning insult but also a fight escalation term. Asshole is another good selection in Round 2 it can be used in several ways. Great versatility to start this draft! Clown is definitely having a resurgence with the emoji which can certainly take online spats to the next level. Weirdo used to be a very mild insult, but has had a comeback of sorts with all the eccentric rich guys getting some shine. Dork is easily the most handsome graphic and was well explained by Matthew McConaughey on PMT which was nicely stitched into the episode.
Team #3: D- (left off graphic)
It started in the 1st Round for this Drafter with Jagoff which he already said was a Chicago term. If we're trying to appeal to a national audience, maybe a Chicago-based term is not the way to go. Scumbag is a great recovery in Round 2 and is the perfect term to mutter under your breath when frustrated by other drivers in traffic. Pole Smoker was met with zero fanfare and most people hadn't even heard of it before. This was his personal burrata moment. He followed it up with squeezer in Round 4 which the rest of the panel didn't know the meaning of. Imbecile is ok, I would've had undrafted, but I can see it in the 5th round. If it wasn't for scumbag, this would be an easy F. I need to see better preparation from this Drafter when we see him again in three years.
Team #4: B
Douchebag is a solid guy insult and I don't love it at #4, but totally understand the pick. Motherfucker is a good under your breath insult and also one to take things to the next level. Creep is one that ever since Facebook and social media really became super popular you want to be called because it's aligned with almost sexual deviance. Nobody would want that as what people think of them. I agree with the panel on Snowflake, it saw a quick rise and almost quicker fall and don't think it's a great pick in Round 4. Mooch is decent, but very niche I would say. Hard to argue with a 5th Rounder, but there are plenty of other ones out there.
Team #5: A-
Cunt and Twat to start off the Draft is a powerful 1-2. Both pack a punch. Loser is one that hurts most as a kid, but can still sting as an adult if the person getting insulted believe it. Fuck Face is one that is a direct fighting term. Calling someone that will almost immediately result in fisticuffs. Cock is the only reason that this doesn't get an A. As Mr. Irrelevant, it's hard to fully argue, but there were again a lost left on the board.
The ones that missed the cut were great too. Dipshit was absolutely worthy of being drafted, Muppet I'm not as on board with and is more Whitney-specific, prick is solid, piece of shit would've been a top 3 rounder for me, butthead is a funny one that was draftable, chump is a little outdated but due for a comeback, coward, moron, and dumb ass was an all-time miss. That's a top 3 round pick, easily! Jackass, fraud, and dick nuts was a good ones too.
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