A New Story Came Out Yesterday About How Ellen Degeneres Is A Complete And Total Asshole

Brooks Kraft. Getty Images.

Now typically, I avoid reading Rolling Stone like the plague. What was once a great magazine completely jumped shark for me when they tried to humanize the Boston Marathon terrorist, but this was a decent read I thought it was worth sharing because Ellen Degeneres is a complete asshole and I'll never turn down the opportunity to make more people aware of that. 

Call it a civic duty. 

Anyways, meet Greyson Chance. About 12 years ago, Greyson Chance's musical talents were "discovered" by Ellen Degeneres after this video of his 6th grade talent show went viral where he sang, "Paparazzi" by Lady Gaga:

Ellen saw the video, recognized Greyson's (very obvious) talent, and invited him onto her show the next day. Greyson took her up on that and they had this lovely little interview:

Kid crushed it. Charming, funny, witty. He was a pro in that interview. Like he had been doing it forever. 

After it wrapped up, Ellen set him up with managers, brand agents, publicists, booking agents, etc. in the coming weeks and months. He then did tours that had stops in Canada, Europe and all over the country and he even met Lady Gaga herself. It looked like he was bound for superstardom.

That is, until his 2nd album flopped and nobody gave a fuck about him anymore. Ellen included. Once his 2nd album flopped, Ellen dropped him like a bad habit. This is what Greyson was quoted saying about her in the Rolling Stone article:

“I couldn’t get ahold of her. Couldn’t talk to her,” says Chance, who returned to the show several times after 2012. “Whenever I would come on the show, it was such a fake smile. She wouldn’t even ask, ‘How are you doing? How are you holding up?’ It was just like, ‘Here’s what we’re going to talk about. We’ll see you on there.’

Asshole move? You bet. But… business is business. And Chance's mom even agreed with that:

Chance’s mom takes a more nuanced view of DeGeneres’ role in Chance’s career. “I think that Ellen is a businesswoman. And if something isn’t trending the way she wants it to, she’s going to put an end to it because it’s business for her,” she tells Rolling Stone. “It’s not warm and fuzzy. I don’t think she invited people to be a part of her life or take someone under their wing like she did if she didn’t want to see something come of it. If it wasn’t moving fast enough for her, that’s when she started to shut down or shut us out.”

I don't hate Ellen for that. Not by a long shot. If she invested time and money into something and wasn't seeing a return that she deemed appropriate, it's her prerogative to cut bait, and that's what she did. All those publicists, agents, stylists, managers and whoever she set him up with? Yeah, those are gone. Fuck you Greyson! Make me my money or GTFO.

That's business and that's life. Sucks that it's like that, but it's a dog eat dog world, even if you're a 12 year old kid. 

But Chance also had stories about Ellen that back up many of the other horror stories we've heard about her over the years:

- Ellen would snap on and demean people back stage when he was doing her show
- Ellen asked Greyson's mom "what kind of mother are you?" when she found out they didn't watch a video on Justin Bieber that Ellen wanted them to watch. You do NOT ever call out a parent for how he/she parents 99% of the time, ESPECIALLY if you're not a mother or father yourself, which Ellen isn't.
- Ellen wouldn't ever let him wear leather because she was vegan "at the time" (rolls eyes) 

There are other infractions Ellen had, if that's the right word, that are brought to light in the Rolling Stone interview, and all of them prove what most of us already know about Ellen: that she's the absolute fucking worst. There is NOTHING I hate more than people who are all friendly, happy go lucky, motivational in front of camera and complete twats behind it.

That tells me two things:

1. They know they are complete twats in real life but know they can't be complete twats in front of the camera because nobody will like them or subscribe to whatever it is they're pushing because nobody likes complete twats. That means she makes CONSCIOUS decisions to be a complete twats to people behind closed doors. 

2. They pander to their audience instead of being themselves. 

That is what I like to call a "hack". That's not how most people define the word, but to me a hack is someone who feeds their massive egos by feeding their audience bullshit that the hack knows the audience wants to hear, even if the hack doesn't believe the bullshit they're spewing themselves and even if it's a 180 from who and what they actual are on a human level. It's fake, performative, virtue signaling BULLSHIT and there's NOTHING I hate more than fake, performative, virtue signaling bullshit.

Those people just play to the loud minority of losers on the internet who will tell you how awesome you are and how great a job you're doing even if it's not totally the case, and there is enough circumstantial evidence that has come out over the years that say Ellen Degeneres is a complete hack and an ego tripping douche bag. The Queen of Hackery. 

I can't stand this asshole and I cannot wait until the day she gets hers, and I'm not talking about the last time she had to issue a bullshit apology for being a complete asshole and running a toxic work environment from a few years back. I'm talking about her entire empire crumbling on top of her like Cersei and Jaime in the Red Keep. It'll be because people had enough of her being a complete asshole and it'll be 100% self inflicted. That, my friends, will be a glorious day. 

That woman SUCKS