Struggling To Pay Your Gas Bill? One Canadian Man Has A Solution-- Pull Them Pants Down And Take A Dump On A Kitchen Plate

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A London, Ont. man has a peculiar way of paying his bills, or collecting a bit of extra pocket change. 

He sells his poop, and he's not the only one.

"Essentially you end up just pooping onto a plate and then scooping that into a collection tube and then dropping it off. It's as simple as that," said John Chmiel.

Chmiel, who studies immunology and microbiology, said it's less about the money, and more about saving lives. 

Healthcare professionals have put out an open call for poop donors at St. Joseph's Health Care London, where fecal transplants have become a routine procedure used to treat potentially life-threatening C. difficile, a cause of antibiotic-associated diarrhea.

"This is not just a mild diarrhea. This is, as they would say,  diarrhea from hell," said Dr. Michael Silverman, medical director of St. Joseph's Infectious Diseases Care Program.

After a course of antibiotics, healthy gut bacteria can be killed, which causes the illness, he said.

"We take bacteria from this healthy poop that John and others produce, and we process it to get rid of anything that's not critical, and then put them in capsules."

Honest to god, this is something I would do for free. A free way to get rid of all your shit? Buddy, sign me up. I've been waiting decades for something like this. Gas is expensive right now. Sure, the prices have dropped over the last few months but that doesn't mean it isn't pricey as hell. The stress of inflation can really make your stomach act up which is why this new service is so great even for people with super diarrhea. It's the quintessential two birds with one stone. You're gonna poop anyway, my friends. Why not just make a quick 50 smackeroos from that poop? 

This isn't a difficult process. There are not any barriers to entry. It's not like when Nathan For You decided to have that gas station charge only 1.75 for gas… WITH A REBATE that you needed to climb a mountain for. It's an even better idea if you can believe that. 

You don't have to do anything like climb a mountain or take a tour bus to a dropbox. You just have to shit on a plate, scrape that shit into a box, and then wait for the direct deposit to hit AFTER you mail your shit. Money in your pocket and you might just save someone from a case of the super diarrhea thats been goin around. That's a pretty good Wednesday if you ask me. Imagine how good you'd feel. You'd no longer have to poop and you'd stop someone else's watery mudslide from causing death. Great work. Truly. Just a wonderful thing to do for someone else and reinforces the old adage of "before you shit in the toilet, talk to a doctor. You might just be able to save someone's life."