Space Force's Official New Song Will Rock Your D*cks (And V*ginas) Off (If You Like Boring, Old-People Music)

We're the mighty watchful eye, 

Guardians beyond the blue, 

The invisible front line, 

Warfighters brave and true

Boldly reaching into space,

there's no limit to our sky

Standing guard both night and day, 

We're the Space Force from on high

We'll blast the moon to smithereens

And spy on your girlfriends, 

with magic beams.

We're the Space Force, 

we'll exploit all the Earth

to steal Saturn's Rings, our true pay dirt.

Try to stop us, pathetic cuck

We own all of space, u Earthling fuck

Real G’s move in silence like Lasagna

We'll spring a worm hole on ya

Have to admit I thought it was pretty lame until they got to those metal-ass lyrics at the end. Hell yes.

But really, I knew it wouldn't be as good as the Marine Corps Hymn because nothing tops that (goosebumps city!), and I'll admit Navy's Anchors Away also slaps, but they could have easily topped the Army, Coast Guard & Air Force's songs (no clue what they even are, which gives you an idea of how boring they probably are). I just feel like they had a real opportunity to be different & embrace a more modern sound as opposed to a 1919 vibe.. after all they're SPACE PEOPLE. Aren't we looking to the future & technology & hacking Russia from Mars & stuff? I was hoping for robot beep-boops & Devo-type imagery. 

Huge miss by them for not consulting me on this, especially since I've been offering my assistance since their first day back in 2019. Smh.

For more military updates check out the latest ZeroBlog30. We've got: