Ed Sheeran Got The Worst Looking Chest Tattoo Of All Time On Purpose

Here we go again.  Ed Sheeran purposely making himself look like an undesirable moron simply to throw it back in our faces that he can be ugly and still get laid and we can’t. There’s no other explanation for that atrocious tattoo.  It looks like shit.

Here’s part of what I wrote when Sheeran said in an interview that he sharts on stage 

Do you see what’s happening here? What Ed Sheeran is doing with these quotes? People might think he’s just telling a funny anecdote about what he does on stage. “Oh LOL. Ed Sheeran farts on stage! Did you read the part where he said he even shit himself on stage once? Classic Sheeran. Love that guy. Fucking love him.” That’s what people think is happening. What’s really happening is Ed Sheeran is shoving it in all of our faces that he can get laid no matter what he says or does while the rest of us struggle for table scraps. It’s self sabotage. That’s the only explanation for him to look the way he does and tell stories about popping his pants on stage. It’s a power move. He’s basically saying, “Watch this. I’ll look like a soulless red head, talk about how how fill my pants with shit during concerts and I’ll STILL be able to get laid. Guarantee it.” And he’s right. No amount of pants-shitting or soullessness is gonna overcome the fact that he wrote fire jams like Thinking Out Loud and I See Fire.

That horrible lion tattoo on his chest is an extension of the sharting.  The sharting is an extension of him being an ugly-as-fuck redhead who has the voice and songwriting skills of an angel. Nothing else matters when those last two things are true.  Don’t believe me that this is self sabotage?  This week it came out that Sheeran is dating that hot chick from the Pussycat Dolls whose name is impossible to spell. As hard as her name is to spell, that’s how hot she is.  You think it’s just a coincidence that he decided to get that tattoo after the news came out?  Not a chance.  “Look at me guys.  I’m dating one of the hottest chicks on the planet AND I can get a horrible tattoo AND I can look like me and she’ll still sleep with me.”  I see what you’re doing, Ed.  I see it, I hate it, I can’t do anything about it and it’s something I have no choice but to respect.