Dominating Minigolf While Dave Portnoy Plays Mind Games In Your Group Ain't The Easiest Life

Lots of talkers around these parts on the mini-golf front. Lotta barkers from little doggies, but can they bite? I think after episode 2 of the Barstool Sports Mini-Golf Championship we get to see who the real big dogs are on the green, including the Widest Dog himself. As for me? Well, you can just judge for yourself. 

Mozart was born to compose. Jalen Reagor is here to underachieve. I was put on this Earth to do two things well: Be a decent husband and father Dominate Mario Kart 64 and conquer in the realm of miniature golf. I've already proven the first thing a zillion times over, now it's about that moment in every man's retired D-III backup career where you're approaching middle aged and need to literally leave it out on the course. You can't be the best unless you beat the best, and the likes of Stevey Cheah thinks he can proclaim Prima Nocta on my life's work? I shot a damn 34 when I was 12. Name was on the whiteboard all Summer. In the degenerate shore house days we scheduled a tee-time for Pirate Island every Saturday for 10:30 am to take on the best of the best for fuck's sake. There would be no survivors on the green. Christ, most of the "Competitors" wouldn't even give their putter a name. Amateur hour. 

PS - Myself and that sheeple WhiteSoxDave are on the tables of the Barstool Casino. Come thru.