HOUSE OF THE DRAGON EPISODE 4 RECAP BLOG: Things Got Horny And Weird
Welp we knew a show about the Targaryens was gonna get a little, or let's be honest a lot incesty sooner or later and last night finally delivered the first real whiff of that. I'm still not sure what base Uncle Daemon got to with his niece since looking to stick someone in your own family tree gave him a case of whiskey dick. But something definitely went down in that brothel and it makes me feel really weird, no matter how cool incest looks when you put slap a cool song in the background of a montage about it.
I'm allowed to say that incest creeps me out without getting canceled, right? Because I feel like there are numerous documented reasons why it's bad. In fact, I think HBO should add it to the TV-MA screen previewing all the crazy shit you are about to see since there is a biiiiig difference between Strong Sexual Content and Strong Sexual Incest Content, at least in my mind. I can't even watch step sibling porn because it kills the vibe for me.
I don't want to hear about Rhaenyra being forced into her uncle's arms due to a lack of suitors either. This kid fucking RULED and I would've married him on the spot once he gutted some dude just for talking shit about him.
I love the fact we have a show where grown men call kids cunts and twats while nobody bats an eyelash.
Back to Daemon, I'm clearly not a big fan of incest no matter what the Targaryen's stance has been for years. However, the man had Fresh Haircut Energy going, which should pretty much absolve you from any questionable decisions you make because all your vibes hit different.
I'm not saying rules shouldn't exist for someone with a new haircut like it's The Purge. However, looking the other way for some of life's taboos in acceptable. Especially if that someone picked up a sweet title like The King of the Narrow Sea. Plus there's apparently Plan B in Westeros, so there won't be an incest baby made in that brothel. Or at least not a Targaryen incest baby.
As for the actual king, I think Rickey Viserys lost at least another digit and is starting to resemble a warmed up White Walker more than a Targaryen these days, as we saw as he was flying his dragon late at night, much to the chagrin of his wife.
Don't feel bad Queen Alicent, I'm pretty sure Lady Clem has the same look on her face during the 10 seconds or so of passion we share.
While we are talking about popping off quickly, shout out Ser Criston Cole for not busting multiple times as Rhaenyra took off his armor since removing a chunk of metal from your body probably has that same orgasmic feeling as taking off your shoes every time.
I just realized that the king's hand has been slowly dying for years now. Feels like a metaphor my dumb brain should've picked up on much earlier. Nonetheless, I don't trust that sus fuck Otto Hightower one bit. And with next week's episode being a wedding, I'm fully prepared for shit as well as blood to hit the fan.
Shiiiiiiit.
Anyway, for much more idiotic talk about this week's Hot D (which clearly lived up to its name), check out our instant recap on Game of Stools with special guest Feitelberg, who was the perfect person to break down the weird sex shit that went down last night.