Surviving Barstool | New Episodes Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday 8PM ETTUNE IN

Belichick Confirms He's Coaching Well Into His 70s and Still DGAF What You Think of His Coaching Staff

Boston Globe. Getty Images.

We're now less than 48 hours from kickoff of the first real Patriots football since that great cosmic titty twister in Buffalo back in January. And the best part, aside from the real Patriots football, is the fact that all the speculation ends as soon as toe meets leather. Then all those preseason storylines are replaced by actual season storylines. It can't come soon enough. Especially in an offseason with so much doubt, fear and despair. 

With that, we get one last word from the god king who is both this world's creator and its master. Bill Belichick gave a phone interview to The Boston Globe (it's Dan Shaughnessy; but you work with what you have), and there are a couple of things he wants to get off his mighty chest. He's putting the world on notice that even at the age of 70, he's not going anywhere anytime soon:

Source - In 2009, a 57-year-old Belichick stated, “I won’t be like Marv Levy and coaching in my 70s, I know that.”

“I wish I hadn’t said that,” Belichick said Thursday in a telephone interview from Florida. “I was probably thinking of what I would feel like. Now, there’s what I actually feel like, and those are two different things. That was not one of my better statements.”  

And asked about the story that has dominated the calendar year so far, Matt Patricia and Joe Judge, your opinions still mean nothing to him:

“I think they're both good coaches,” said Belichick. “Ultimately, it’s my responsibility, like it always is. So if it doesn’t go well, blame me.” …

What about the fact that Patricia and Judge have no experience calling offensive plays?

“I don’t see it any differently than it was in the last 22 years,” Belichick said. “Look at our other offensive coordinators. We had Charlie [Weis]. Then Josh. He’d never called offensive plays. Billy O’Brien [who succeeded McDaniels] never called plays in the NFL. Josh came back. We’ve changed coaches in every area, multiple times.

“Defensively, Matt Patricia had never called plays. Then he won a couple of Super Bowls. Brian Flores [who succeeded Patricia] had never called plays. That worked out all right. Steve [Belichick] has been calling defenses. 

“We were pretty high up there statistically last year. We didn’t play well obviously in the Buffalo game and a couple of other games, but I wouldn’t say we had a bad year defensively. At least not statistically.

“We have plenty of coaches that didn’t have previous experience and it’s worked out pretty well with most of them, but not all of them.”

Let's let this be the ribbon we put on the entire offseason of 2022. First of all, Belichick is not in the least bit phased about the fact that 13 years ago he made some offhand remark. Contrary to what they teach you in broadcasting school, answers you give in radio interviews are not legally binding. Marv Levy was an old 72. HC Bill goes on to say that having Steve and Brian Belichick on his staff keeps him young. Jack Donaghy says, "Rich 50 is like Middle Class 38." And Insanely Successful 70 is like Unsuccessful 40. Levy lost four straight Super Bowls, and that will age a man. Driving a boat named after your eight rings (and counting) will make you Benjamin Button. Romeo Crennel just became the first 73 year old head coach. Belichick is prepared to blow that record out of the water with no let up. 

Secondly, he's confirming what I've been saying from the beginning of this process. He's got exactly the staff in place that he wants, doing what he wants them to do. He's been making seemingly unorthodox decisions with his coaching staff because that's how he rolls. Because ultimately it comes down to him anyway. It always has. His assistants will do what they've always done, advise and consent. And have some power over which colored rectangle on the laminated Hooters menu gets read into the headset. But no decision gets made without his approval. It has ever been thus. And shall continue to be as he coaches well into his next coaching life after he's reincarnated. Why would he do anything different at this point? The names change, the philosophy and methodology do not. 

As I've referenced before, one time JFK was hosting a White House state dinner of winners of the Nobel Prize. Addressing the room filled with accomplished experts in the fields of science, art, mathematics, literature and world peace he said, "This is the greatest collection of talent to eat in this room since Thomas Jefferson dined alone." Belichick is Jefferson (minus all the bad stuff). As long as he's in charge, there's no reason to worry whose voice is in Mac Jones' helmet. 

Or to quote what is probably my favorite ancient Mongolian proverb (there are so many great ones to choose from), "An army of donkeys led by a lion will defeat an army of lions led by a donkey." This team is no army of donkeys. But they'll follow this lion and so will I. 

Kiss the rings. And kick off the damn ball already.