Russell Wilson Spent $25 Million Dollars On A New House And His Basketball Court Stinks Out Loud

Russell Wilson not only has a new team, but got PAID. His wife is also a famous singer, Ciara, so they're doing pretty well financially. It came across my timeline that the couple bought a new home in Colorado for a whopping $25M. 

That house is SICK! The bedroom to bathroom ratio looks wild, but when you consider how big the house is, it kind makes sense. A 9-car garage sounds excessive. Theater, indoor pool, game room are standard super wealthy guy shit, but not a knock, they're popular for a reason. But it also lists a basketball court, and that's where I have an issue. Look at this thing:

Growing up I belonged to the local YMCA and my eyes are telling me this is a converted Racquetball court because that's exactly what I remember a Racquetball court looking like. I mean what can you really do on this thing? Practice free throws? Play knockout? And even then, you kind of lose the mystique of somebody missing a shot and running a distance to get the ball - it'll just bounce off a nearby wall! There is no 3-point line, the court just looks like a giant penis with little hairs going up the shaft. Imagine how weak Russell Wilson's baseline jumper is going to be!

You can't even have your friends over to hoop cause the court spacing would be atrocious! But maybe Russell Wilson is just trying to break the all-time record for consecutive made free throws. Because if that's the case, this court is perfect. 

And listen, I'm not saying the house isn't awesome. I'm just saying for that price, I woulda knocked some walls down and fixed that court cause that shit is WEAK!