Water Is A 5 Tool Player
I don't think that Water gets enough credit in this society day to day. We take it for granted but us moron humans use it for so many different avenues. What other object or liquid is a 5 tool player.
1st tool: Survival- We need water to survive, I am not sure if you heard but we all need to drink water to stay alive in this world and you know you appreciate an ice cold water in the summer more when you are older. Also if you are someone like me who has a palate like a savant you know what good water is and what bad water is. The 1st tool is big though, because you don't get to enjoy the others tools without the 1st tool.
Yandle is such a genius, like what is the first thing an astronaut bring to space? It's fucking water even though I wouldn't mind a voltage blue mountain dew but thats besides the point.
2nd Tool : Death- Sorry to bring down the mood but water does have a couple of death avenues under its belt. Water can be your friend, but it can also kill you. It is also used in every mob movie to throw whoever was a rat in their crew. Even used as a scare tactic in waterboarding which has to be the scariest thing of all time.
3rd Tool: Views - You can drink it, it can kill you, but the most expensive dinners, most expensive houses are right on the water just so we can look at water. There's nothing like a nice waterside view. These are strong tools already. There are really only two 5 tool players in the MLB in Trea Turner and Mike Trout. There isn't a liquid or any object that can put up the numbers water does.
4th Tool: Water Parks/Pools - You want to cool off look who is there for you water. You want to make memories with your kids, lets go to a water park and have a fucking blast on the log flume. There is no better feeling when you are sweating and you jump into the pool at home either. Even playing games, making wave pools anything water is creating these memories.
5th Tool: Cleanliness - Tough word to spell but brushing your teeth, showering, and if you spill anything or need your clothes washed we are using water baby. Reading this you're all going to be like oh what a moron Marty is did he just discover water!? No I am showing water the appreciation it deserves. If water had social media it would be like why is everyone talking about Kanye and Leo breaking up with a 25 year old and not saying how I am making this world a better place and working my tail off to make your life easy.
P.S. There are honorable mentions to for water that didn't make the 5 tool list. It could be like a 7 tool player, like you want pasta? Well you need water. It just dawned on me how exciting and how amazing this shit is. There is a legit whole other world under the water that we for sure do not know about and water is housing all of those suckers. I can keep going but I can probably guarantee nobody made it to the end of this blog.