Suburb Saturdays Volume 6: Your Neighbor Steals Your Flowers And RePlants Them In Her Yard

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On this week's Suburb Saturdays we got a user submission from someone going by "Petunia" about a very odd thing her neighbor did recently.

"I recently planted a bunch of flowers to brighten up my yard. There were some beautiful tulips and they were getting close to blooming recently. I work from home and have a clear view of them from my office. But one day, I noticed they were gone. I went outside and noticed some dirt like they had been dug up. I didn't really know what to do, but I went inside and told my husband. Later that day I noticed the tulips, my tulips, in my neighbor's yard! Only about 30 feet away! She did not have flowers there prior to that day (her yard is also in my view from my office) and they were the exact same size/color/stage as mine! I have every reason to believe she dug my flowers up and planted them in her yard. How should I handle this?" - Petunia

Wow, that is psychotic behavior assuming she actually did it. I have no idea what her security system is like, but my first move would be to check the tapes if they at all span to that area. But it seems safe to say the neighbor did it, in which case, they are not someone I would approach directly. People capable of that type of behavior should not be assumed that they'll react like a normal, rational person. Therefore, I'd lean one of the following options:

Option #1: Take the flowers back during the night. This could result in neighbor warfare, but would accomplish the mission of getting your flowers back while also sending a message that you are not to be fucked with.

Option #2: Destroy the flowers in her yard. This removes some implication that you did it, but sends a message that you're a little nutty too. The neighbor can't really complain to you either. 

Option #3: File a complaint with the town and get a neutral third party involved. This will most certainly result in that neighbor hating you, if she doesn't already.

Option #4: Take the high road and just buy more flowers to plant. Let her know it doesn't bother you and see if she's ballsy enough to pull the move again.

What do you think is the best route? I'll put out a poll on Sunday and post it in next week's blog.

Here are the results from last week's poll about your older, out of shape neighbor continually mowing his lawn shirtless:

Thanks as always for reading and see you next Saturday!