Texans TE Has A Genius Plan To Get A Bigger Contract - Cut Out Eating BBQ Sauce So He's Not Fat And Can Catch Passes

[Source] - Brown, who signed a one-year, $3.5 million contract this year, says he lost 18 pounds on the theory that if he’s more of a receiving tight end rather than a blocking tight end, he can get a better contract in 2023.

“I was a fat guy last year,” Brown said, via the Houston Chronicle. “One of the linemen just told me, ‘I’m proud of you, man. You were an O-Line tight end last year, and now you’re out there catching balls. I told him I got a new financial advisor and they told me that the blocking tight end gets the minimum.”

On one hand getting more than $3.5 million sounds nice. On the other hand? Cutting out bbq sauce? Absolutely not. Sure not being a fatso tight end is enjoyable and you don't have to do the dirty work. But do you really need to lose 18 pounds just to catch passes. Feel like maybe 10 would be the perfect number. Enjoy the bbq sauce, cut out something else. 

BBQ sauce is truly versatile. It's like what Pharaoh Brown wants to be. You can put it on chicken breasts. You can put it on burgers. You can put it on wings. You can put it on porkchops. All delicious! Seriously, get a little bacon, bbq sauce and blue cheese crumbles on a burger and you have my attention. Especially some spicy bbq sauce. Worth just making $3.5 million vs like $6 million. 

And hey, I get it. He's trying to get rich and all that. Good for him. Just saying, 18 pounds off of bbq sauce? How much bbq sauce was this man eating? Is that the secret to losing weight? Feel like there has to be more to it.