Vita Vea Shotguns Cans Of Gatorade Like He Devours Running Backs Hitting The Hole

What's better than this? Guys being dudes. Or in the case of Vita Vea, motherfucking monsters being dudes. I thought Vita Vea was a beast swallowing up running backs. But what he did to that poor Gatorade, which likely had a family, is criminal.

I can't even imagine the hydration you get from shotgunning a can of Gatorade, which hits completely different than a regular plastic bottle (I won't even dare to age myself about how hydrating a glass bottle of Gatorade was back when they were around during the times of dinosaurs). Shotgunning Gatorade is pretty much like getting multiple IVs injected directly into your veins, leading to unlimited electrolytes uncut to the gut. What are electrolytes? I don't have a clue, but I know Gatorade has them, I love drinking Gatorade, and drinking Gatorade makes me feel better when I'm hungover. So they must be good!

If Steven Cheah is still at Bucs camp, I neeeeeeeed him to face off against Vita in a Gatorade shotgun race since I'm sure Steven was like the captain of the Hofstra shotgunning team or some preposterous story that'll be revealed in normal conversation on the Yak, which would lead to a reaction like this in the booth.

This is the part of the blog where I would attempt to shotgun a can of Gatorade but I honestly haven't seen one for sale since I was in high school, which was forever ago since I am an Old. So I'll leave you with these very true and wise words.

Riptide Rush is the GOAT Gatorade and it's not even close. Best taste, great name, beautiful color, and by far the most refreshing of the entire Gatorade family (probably because it has extra electrolytes or some shit). The only downside to it is that it can be hard to find and there are other purple flavors that I'm convinced Gatorade pushes out to trick us into buying.