Joey Chestnut Lives Out Everybody's Dream, Takes Down 44 Chicken Fingers In 5 Minutes
The thing about chicken fingers is that they kick so much ass. But for some reason or another, there is a certain faction of society who thinks that they are above the chicken finger. As if the chicken finger is a meal reserved for children and uncultured swine. For the unworldly. I'm not exactly sure when being really fucking delicious became the same thing as "childish". I don't know why chicken fingers can't be found on the menu of every Michelin Star rated restaurant on the planet. But what I do know is that chicken fingers rock. And if given the opportunity to devour 44 of them in 5 minutes, we'd all be ecstatic.
Which is exactly what Joey Chestnut did yesterday on National Chicken Finger Day. This is where you really see what separates Joey Chestnut from the rest of the world. This is Joey vs Joey. He doesn't have any competitors there to help him set the pace here. Sure, he has a little bit of a crowd behind him cheering him on but that's not the same as the buzz and pop he gets from the crowd at Coney Island. But the man still delivers and he still sets another record. Because that's what Jaws was put on this planet to do.
Sidenote: Spicy mayo, honey mustard, hot sauce. In that order for dipping condiments.