HEINZ AIN'T LEAVING THE STEELERS STADIUM WITHOUT A DAMN FIGHT!!!

Icon Sports Wire. Getty Images.

PPG- Kraft Heinz will continue to have a presence at the Pittsburgh Steelers’ home stadium even if the food and beverage giant no longer maintains naming rights at the North Shore venue. The Steelers have agreed in principle to a five-year sponsorship deal with Kraft Heinz at the newly renamed Acrisure Stadium, a team spokesman said.

As part of the deal, one of the oversized ketchup bottles that recently were removed from the scoreboard will be displayed elsewhere inside the stadium. “We at Kraft Heinz are committed to the Pittsburgh community, and we’re not going anywhere,” company spokesperson Lynsey Elve said. “We can confirm there is an agreement and, not only is the Heinz Red Zone staying, but one of the iconic ketchup bottles will be featured at the stadium in a prominent location where visitors can get a coveted photo op.

What, you thought the king of ketchups was going to just sit around and let some faceless insurance company take their seat at the NFL table without a fight? HA!!! If Heinz rolled over like that, some second rate ketchup like Hunt's or those shitty Red Gold packets you get when ordering delivery from diners would've taken the throne years ago.

That being said, there is only so much a condiment company can do when an insurance company throws its money around since those motherfuckers are cash cows. However, I'm guessing the Steelers heard all the outrage from people that loved the name Heinz Field, which included thousands of signatures on an online petition and Stu Feiner losing his fucking marbles while wasting so much delicious ketchup.

So what did the Steelers do in response to this grave injustice? Ink a deal to keep the most electric red zone moment in sports in tact for what I imagine had to be a great deal for Heinz considering the entire world was mad at the Steelers along with whatever smiting the Football Gods had planned for them (since the Football Gods famously love great corporate brand sponsorships).

As part of the deal, Kraft Heinz will continue to sponsor the Heinz Red Zone, as it is called when the Steelers get to the opponent’s 20-yard line near the end zone. In the past, when the Steelers got that far, two giant ketchup bottles flanking each side of the main scoreboard would tilt as if pouring. While the bottles have already been removed in the deal with Acrisure, Mr. Huzjak said there would still be some digital replication on the scoreboard.

Not only that, one of the 35-foot-tall fiberglass bottles could be returning as part of a Kraft Heinz display to be located elsewhere in the stadium under the new agreement with the ketchup maker.

I also stumbled upon this gem from back in 2020 when fans weren't able to go to games and I couldn't love anything more.

So while I am sad that future generations of Steelers fans won't see physical bottles of Heinz ketchup poor liquid tomato goodness digitally into a video screen when the Steelers cross their opponents 20, I am happy that it will exist digitally like everything else in the world in like 20 years. 

Besides, Acrisure can pay as much money as they want to rename the stadium whatever they like. But just like how I call every white Steelers tight end Heath Miller, I'll be calling the stadium the Steelers play in Heinz Field for the rest of my life.

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