Woman Sues a Guy for $10K Over a Bad Date and the Video of Her Arguing with the Judge is INSANE

TMZ - Sometimes it's best to just swipe left -- a woman is suing a guy over one bad date, and their court appearance plays like the greatest 10-minute soap opera.

Judge Herman Marable Jr. in Flint, Michigan definitely had his work cut out for him when QaShontae Short sued Richard Jordan for intentional infliction of emotional distress ... claiming they had a less-than-perfect date.

Legal docs, obtained by TMZ, show she first filed this suit back in 2020 ... and in it, she alleges Richard deliberately and intentionally hurt her when he "did not show and left on [her] mother's birthday and [her] mom had just passed away."

We are just over halfway through 2022, and I think I can honestly say this is my favorite video of the year. And it will be hard to impossible to top it. It just has so much going for it. 

One of the oldest and most overdone sitcom trope is the when the main character decides to represent themselves in a wacky court case. And it's always presided over by a serious, taciturn judge who gets increasingly frustrated by their antics and starts making wisecracks. And hilarity ensues. It's been done since the days of I Love Lucy to Married With Children, from to Fraiser to Parks and Recreation and every show in between. Seinfeld alone must have done it a half dozen times. Hell, what is My Cousin Vinny but just a fish-out-of-water movie version of the same theme?

Well when it comes to delivering nonstop comedy, none of them have a thing on these three. 

Let's start in the most logical place, with QaShontae Short, for filing this suit in the first place. For convincing herself that a date blowing her off is somehow worth $10,000 to her. What she calls 10 grand worth of "emotional distress" is what the rest of us call "dating." If I was able to collect $10,000 from every date who wasn't interested in my nonsense, I would've been able to retire at the age of 30. So this guy didn't want to sit around listening to Looney McBatshit here prattle on about it being her dead mother's birthday. Guess what, Sunshine? Nobody does. Not on a first date. Not on a 100th date. That's not especially kind, I'll grant you. But it's worth the sum total of zero dollars and nobody-gives-a-shit cents. 

Next, get a load of the way she presents her case. Running around in an airport or some such place. Can't be bothered to go find a quiet spot to sit down and address the judge. Can't even point the camera at her face. Just shouting into the void while showing them random skylights and the side of her head. 

But her finest moments begin with her lecturing the judge on the legal definition of "perjury," which she clearly never even looked up. So to her it's not only a guy who stood her up saying something she doesn't agree with. And she thinks that's a criminal offense and he needs to arrested and charged. Then escalates it to the point she's talking over the judge with "Are we done here? Are we DONE here???" like the raging, self-possessed narcissist she clearly is.

And major kudos are in order for the Honorable Herman Marable, Jr. for keeping his composure for all of about two minutes. Which, in addition to demonstrating what legal experts are talking about when they use the term "judicial temperament," pushed the limits of human endurance. Early on, you can see in his eyes that he's thinking, "Become a judge, they said. You'll get nights and weekends off, they said. Nice benefits. A fat pension. I could be doing contracts for some big mega-corporation right now." If you watch no other part, skip to about 2:30, when he finally can't hold it in any longer. Then after the first "Are we DONE here?" he rips that stupid, useless, plastic shield off his head and is ready to come through the screen after her. And six minutes in, he's still trying to regain his composure while she's putting words in his mouth and demanding he show her proof of what he said. Incredible. Fred Gwynne wasn't this good in My Cousin Vinny, and I think he was nominated for an Oscar. 

But to me, the real star of the show is Richard Jordan. In the way Larry used to hold The Three Stooges together while barely saying a word while Moe and Curley beat the bag out of each other, he sits back and lets it all happen. The silent observer. The stand in for the audience, enjoying the show as much as we are. With the self-satisfied grin that says, "Is there anyone watching this who thinks I didn't make the right call on this one?" Talk about dodging a bullet. Can you imagine sitting across from QaShontae Short trying to enjoy a steak dinner or whatever with this unhinged crackpot? I mean, this is how she conducts her business with a court judge she came to for help. Picture yourself trying to navigate your way through her psychosis in hopes of having sex with her? You'd be better off sticking your erection into a rat trap. And that contented smile on Jordan's face says it all.

So thanks to all who participated. This was some of the funniest courtroom shenanigans in the history of comedy. Made all the better by the unscripted, improv nature of it all. The only thing I'm struggling with is how oddly fascinated I am with QaShontae Short. Like I'd love to spend a night out with her, just to see what it's like. Is it possible to have a two-way conversation with her? A back-and-forth where two people become acquainted and start a relationship? Or would it just be her monologuing the whole time until she ends the date with a rapid-fire series of "Are we done heres?" My guess is, I wouldn't last nearly as long as Judge Marable or Richard Jordan. But for some reason I'm dying to find out. Ms. Short, if you're reading this, DM me. Dinner is on me.