Viral Video of a Dog Interrupting a Soccer Match Demanding Belly Rubs is the Content We All Need Right Now

The mocking, cold-hearted, misanthropic, dispirited cynic in me wants to make with some wisenheimer crack about how this is the best moment in international soccer because there's no international soccer to ruin it. But I can't. Because there is nothing I or you or anyone else cares about that couldn't be made better by this dog performing this hilarious shenanigans for the world to see. 

This good boy/girl could run out into the middle of a two-minute drill at the end of a tied Super Bowl game, or Game 7 of the World Series with the winning run in scoring position in the 9th, and the reaction would be the same. Everything would stop. And the most badass competitors in the game would push each other out of the way to scratch that doggy belly. Hell, a UFO could be opening its doors on the White House lawn, ready to announce First Contact with a life form from beyond our world, and if a dog bounded across the grass demanding our new overlords give him/her tummy rubs with their bony little alien hands, and they'd comply. 

I'm not saying the problems of an angry, broken, and divided world can be solved with a few pats from some attractive Chilean and Venezuelan soccer professionals. We've got to do that work on our own. But the best way to start is to get into the right frame of mind. And it's a proven scientific fact that petting an animal will naturally increase levels of positive hormones while reducing levels of cortisol, the so-called "stress hormone." It's like a wholesome, safe, and effective opioid. Watching someone else do it (who isn't a 007 supervillain with a cat on his lap) has to have a similar effect on human body chemistry. For sure, it can't hurt. How they could give this noble creature a red card and boot it off the pitch is beyond me. But let's all just be grateful for the 51 seconds of pure joy we got to witness while it lasted. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to watch this another 700 times until my faith in humanity comes back.