Lighten the Fuck Up! She Was Recently Divorced and Hiring a Contractor for the First Time...

A recently divorced woman was getting an estimate to repaint the interior of the house she retained in her settlement, hoping changes in room color would help her with starting over… 

The woman walked the contractor through the second floor and told him what colors she wanted in each room. As they walked through the master bedroom, the woman said, "I would like this room painted light beige." 

The contractor wrote the woman's color choice in his notes, walked over to a window, opened it, and yelled out, "Green side up!" He then closed the window and proceeded to follow the woman to the next room. 

The woman was a bit confused but continued to the second bedroom. "I would like this room painted light blue." 

Again, the contractor wrote the woman's color choice in his notes, walked over to a window, opened it, and yelled out, "Green side up!" He then closed the window and and proceeded to follow the woman to the next room.

This strange behavior baffled the woman, but she was hesitant to say anything, thinking that the contractor might take offense if she questioned him… 

In the next bedroom, the woman said, "I would like this room painted light rose."

Once again, the contractor wrote the woman's color choice in his notes, walked over to a window, opened it, and yelled out, "Green side up!" He then closed the window and proceeded to follow the woman to the bathroom…

Now overwhelmed with curiosity, the woman mustered up enough courage to ask, "Excuse me Sir, why do you keep yelling 'Green side up' out of the windows each time I tell you what color I'd like a room painted?" 

The contractor replied, "Oh, that. It's because I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street…"                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

* Vindog has been repurposing jokes since 1968 (and flipping people off forever!) 

This is LTFU Joke #99!                                                                                                                                                                 

There's no better way to 'Lighten the Fuck Up' than doing it wearing LTFU merch!

But don't take my word on it, here's markopolo's comment in the last joke, "Lots of thumbs up and great comments when I wear your LTFU tee out in public."