Par For The Course In 2022: NASA Has Discovered A "Hell Like Planet, Where It Rains Lava At Night"

Chron - NASA will soon unveil an enhanced look at two exoplanets that closely resemble the Earth, although you might want to hold off on packing your bags. 

One of the first orders of business for NASA's renowned James Webb Telescope is taking a closer look at 55 Cancri e, a super-hot planet that orbits closer to its central star than Mercury does the Sun. This means that the planet is likely covered in flowing magma, according to NASA scientists. They also believe that the potential existence of a weak atmosphere on the planet means it could rain lava at night. 

The planet takes a mere 18 hours to orbit its central star. When planets orbit stars so closely, they usually orbit in a manner called "tidally locked" where the same side of the planet faces the star at all times. But scientists believe this planet might rotate on its own, meaning the heat generated by its proximity to the star is spread throughout its globe. Experts will also hopefully determine whether the planet contains nitrogen or oxygen.

Oh NASA you little dick tease. 

Just fucking take your pants off already and show us this thing. Cut the bullshit. The world (simulation) is wrapping up at an alarming rate. Every day we wake up and its not nuclear winter or the aliens aren't melting us is a miracle. You can't put off ANYTHING today. You got news? Release that shit. 

Molten magma raining down from the heavens? 

Let's fucking go!

Keep calling me a tin foil hat weirdo. I'll just be here sipping my iced tea, 

chuckling to myself as more and more life continues to imitate art and people still chalk it up to coincidence and not some sick fucking weirdo controlling a simulation we're all in.

How else can you explain a Super Mario Bros. Bowser castle now being real life?

Also, totally random thought here but I hope these little NASA nerds are getting laid like crazy with all their dirty little secrets they're hoarding and apparently deciding when to "release" out to us peons like they control the blood diamonds or something. Talk about an all-time opening line at a bar. 

"Hey what's your name? My name's Lance. I'm a NASA engineer who discovered an unknown planet where it rains lava. Can I buy you a drink?"