The World's Coolest 2-Year-Old Ordered 31 McDonald's Cheeseburgers from DoorDash
Roberto Pfeil. Shutterstock Images.At the risk of sounding like a guy in a Member's Only jacket walking into a stranger's kitchen to find Chris Hanson there telling him to take a seat, kids grow up fast these days.
Earlier this month, I posted about a 4-year-old from the Netherlands who casually fire up his mom's car and took it for a joyride:
… and running afoul of the authorities after he smashed it into parked cars. Which might sound like an impressive accomplishment for a lad who's still a year away from Kindergarten. But The Fast and the Furious: Rotterdam Drift Kid has had plenty of years to plan his life of crime compared to this little American con artist:
Source - [O]ne Texas mom got quite the surprise when her 2-year-old somehow ordered 31 (yes, 31) cheeseburgers from McDonald's on her phone.
Kelsey Burkhalter Golden's son Barrett used her unlocked phone to order the $61.58 worth of McDonald's delivery from the restaurant, which is six miles from their home. After a $16 tip and app fees, the entire order was $91.70.
She … told TODAY Food she thought her son had just been taking photos of himself. …
'I got a text from the DoorDash company that was like, hey, it's gonna take a little bit longer than usual to take your order."
She was confused by the text but figured she had ordered lunch for her other two kids to their school (where she also works) and forgotten. She even let the school know to expect two Happy Meals. …
"So I go and open the door and there's this girl standing there and she's like, 'Your 31 cheeseburgers?'" Golden laughed. … "And she was like, 'Thank you for the tip!' Oh, boy. So I went in and I checked my phone. And sure enough, the order was placed at the exact time that he was playing with the phone."
I'll leave it to others to criticize modern parenting. Where phones are used as babysitters and kids meals are prepared and delivered by strangers. I'm not going to claim the moral high ground here just because my boys' Electronic Babysitter was a DVD player and I took the time to microwave their macaroni and cheese that was shaped like Spongebob. My personal house is made of glass too fragile for me to throw rocks at Kelsey Burkhalter Golden (A+ law firm name) for not being able to keep straight which kids she sent to school without a lunch.
Instead, I'm here to heap praise on that 2-year-old mastermind she's raising. He's one of those kids that is either going to grow up to be the billionaire CEO of a Fortune 500 company, President of the United States, or the capo of a major organized crime family. And those options are not mutually exclusive, by any means.
I mean, this really was the perfect crime. He obviously planned the job with that "taking selfies" ruse, which is right out of an Ocean's 11-like heist movie. He executed it right under mom's nose. A lesser 2-year-old thief would've gotten greedy and gone for the Happy Meals, but even with the allure of Sonic 2 action figures in every box, he didn't get greedy. Those boxes are a bulky and it would've tipped somebody off to the scam. He even paid off the driver with that tip, to keep her quiet. If only he'd beaten mom to the door, or thought to leave instructions to drop the delivery on the porch instead of ringing the bell, he'd have never been caught. But in fairness, this was probably his first job. And while he got busted, it sounds like he can handle a steep learning curve.
Welcome to the first generation born of this Earth that knows more about how things function than their parents do. Someday when the Barretts of the world are hacking into our banks to drain our accounts dry, we'll have parents without Face ID on their phones to thank for it.